Happy Ending Story
by RachelDalloway
Summary: Jack has been searching for Rose for 3 years, but what he finds is not what he expected. Can they build a life together anyway? And what happens when life throws even more challenges their way? Will they ever get their happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

AN: I rated this T because there's a better chance of people finding it that way. However, it probably should be somewhere between T and M.

_Fall 1915_

"Anything?" Jack tried to keep hope out of his voice. His friend Will shook his head. "Nothing." Jack sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He'd gotten his hopes up again for nothing. Will tried to let him have his moment, but after a few minutes passed and he didn't move, he couldn't resist touching his shoulder. "You gonna be okay?"

Jack lifted his head. "Yeah...I didn't expect you to find anything anyway," he lied.

Will didn't believe him, but they didn't have the kind of friendship that would allow him to say so. "Well, if you need something..." he said, getting up to leave. Jack nodded. "I know."

He watched Will walk away but made no move to leave himself. He slumped down on the bench, unaware of the stares he was receiving from people passing by.

For three years he had dedicated every waking moment to finding her. Since he'd seen that name on the survivor list--_Rose Dawson_--he'd known she was out there. Somewhere. He'd stayed in New York because that had seemed like where she'd most likely be. The _Carpathia_ had brought them all to the same place after all. He'd saved every penny he could and put it toward finding her. He'd used up every favour he'd ever been owed and then some.

And three years later there was still no sign of her.

She hadn't married Cal. He was sure of that. He'd checked the papers everyday for weeks. If it had happened there would have been something about it. He still checked them from time to time. The previous summer he'd spotted the announcement about Cal and the woman he did end up marrying.

What he just couldn't figure out was _where_ she could have gone. Where _would_ she have gone? She hadn't gone back to her mother. He'd only left New York once since April of 1912 and that was to attend the funeral Ruth held for her. She'd told him he could actually come inside as long as he didn't speak to anyone.

He might have sat there all day if not for the sudden screams that ripped across the relative silence of the park. He stood up and tried to figure out what direction the screams were coming from. Finally he saw two cops struggling with someone--a woman, from the sound of it.

_You're not part of this_, he told himself. Yet he hurried over anyway.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Just trying to get her to move along," one of the cops answered. Her face was obscured by limp, dirty hair that might have once been curly. Jack's stomach twisted in the particularly excruciating way that only a redhaired woman could cause. "What's she done?" he asked. It seemed he was going to become involved whether he liked it or not.

"She's babbling to herself," the othe cop said, dodging the woman's fist. "She's crazy," the other added as he tried to get control of her arms.

"Just stop _touching_ me!" she wailed. She twisted her body in an attempt to slide out of their grasp.

"Hey, why don't you leave her alone? Let me try." Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing himself say.

The cops stared at him, their struggle momentarily forgotten. "Oh why not. We don't get paid enough for this," the first one said. "Go ahead," the other one said. They dropped the woman to the ground and hurried away.

She curled up in a ball and pressed her face into the grass. Jack bent down, careful not to touch her. "Hey," he said gently. "Are you okay?" She raised her head slightly. "What?" "You look like you could use some help," he said. "Can I do anything?"

She pushed her hair aside. Even covered in scratches and grime her face was the same. Jack felt as though gravity was no longer holding him to the Earth. "Rose?" he whispered hoarsely. "You're not real," she said sadly, shaking her head.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm real! I--I'm right here--"

"No," she interrupted. "You're not. I know you're not. You never are. You say you are and then..."

"What?"

"You go away again." Tears sprang into her eyes. "You always go away again."He reached out to touch her face. She flinched before his hand even got close. "Don't," she said.

"Don't touch you?" She nodded.

"Why not?"

"Just...just don't...."

"Okay."

Eventually he coaxed her to her feet. Without thinking he reached for her hand. She stared at it, almost as if she didn't understand. She hesitated and then lightly touched his palm with her fingertips. He waited to see what she would do next. She studied his face for what seemed like an eternity before she slipped her hand into his. He was amazed by how tiny it seemed. He was afraid if he held it too tightly it might shatter.

They didn't speak as he led her to his apartment. He felt her eyes on him and looked over. She turned away when their eyes met.

"Well, uh..." he wasn't sure what to say. They were standing just inside the door of his apartment. Rose was looking around tentatively. She hadn't let go of his hand, which he felt was a good sign. Her eyes stopped wandering and landed on him when he began to speak again.

"Do you...would you like a bath?"He watched her face for signs that what he'd said was as bad as he thought it was. None came. Her eyes actually brightened a bit. "Oh..oh yes," she said.

"Okay...um..wait here and I'll take care of it."

Alone save for the sound of running water Jack finally allowed himself to begin processing what was going on. He'd found her. She was standing five feet from where he was standing. It didn't seem real.

_Real--what she said I'm not. _He shook his head as if that would shake out the thoughts. _She's not okay._ "She is," he said aloud. _She really isn't. _"She will be." _You don't know that. You don't know how she ended up like this. _"She's my Rose, that's all I need to know."


	2. Chapter 2

Rose stared at her reflection in the water. She brought a hand up to her face. "How can you look at me?" she asked.

Jack stood in the doorway. "I can't stop looking at you," he said. "I don't want to ever stop looking at you."

"That sounds like what he would say," she said to herself.

He ignored the implication that he didn't exist. "Well, I'm gonna just--I'll be out here if you need anything," he said.

He collapsed into a chair in the kitchen. How could he convince her this wasn't just something in her head? He wished he knew where she'd been, what had happened to her. He knew whatever it was had been bad. He sat there until the silence began to unnerve him. He tiptoed to the bathroom door and peeked in.

She was lying in the water, eyes closed, a serene smile on her face. She was so still he was afaid she'd drowned, but the slow rise and fall of her chest reassured him that she was still breathing. He reached his hand in and grabbed her dress from the floor. He wondered if it was the same dress she'd worn the night of the sinking. There was really no way to tell. It was little more than a filthy rag.A moment later he slipped his hand through the door, leaving a clean set of his own clothes where hers had been.

He returned to the kitchen and concentrated on calming his nerves. He covered his face with his hands and sighed. Not once in all the time he'd spent looking for her had he allowed himself to think about anything bad happening to her. It was naive he knew, but he'd been telling himself all along that wherever she was, she was safe and happy.

"Jack?"

His head popped up at the sound of her voice. She was standing just a few feet away from him, almost lost in his clothes. Now that it was clean he could see where her face was bruised. Her wet hair hung down her back in tangled curls.

"Hey," he said, trying to smile. "You look better in my clothes than I do."

She looked down at herself. "I didn't think you were that much bigger than me."

_I wasn't_, he thought sadly. _You got smaller._

"Are you hungry?" he asked, motioning for her to sit in the chair opposite him. She nodded and sat. "I am...I didn't realize it before, but I really am." She ate like she'd never seen food before. It hurt Jack to watch her. _You did this_, he thought. _You brought her to this. _

"I know what you must be thinking," she said. "How could you have ever even tried to love me. I don't blame you. I think it too."

"That's not what I was thinking," he said gently but insistently. "And I never tried to love you. I did love you--I _do_ love you. Rose, I've spent every day for the last three years trying to find you_._" He reached toward her and waited to see if she flinched before touching her hand. "I was thinking that I did this to you," he continued. "If I'd been stronger we wouldn't have been separated. Whatever happened wouldn't have happened."

Rose smiled sadly. "You've never said that before."

"That's because I'm real." He pressed her hand. "Rose, I am here. You are here. None of this is any kind of dream or vision or anything else. I'm not going away. I'm never leaving you again."

"I don't know if I can believe that," she said quietly.

"You don't have to believe it yet, but...you trusted me once, can you try to trust me again?"

"I'll try. I can't promise anything. I've barely been able to keep the last promise I made you."

"I can't ask anything more."

It wasn't long before her blinks began to get longer and longer. "You need to rest," he said. She shook her head. "No, I don't want to go to sleep. I don't know you'll still be here when I wake up." Her speech was slurred.

Jack didn't argue. He just waited for sleep to overcome her. When it did he carefully lifted her up and carried her to his bed. He set her down gently. She buried her face in the pillow and curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around herself. He laid down beside her, careful not to touch her. She was still so beautiful. Even beaten and half-starved she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He awoke suddenly in the dark to the sound of terrifed screams. Beside him a still sleeping Rose fought some unseen enemy.

"Rose!" he cried, taking hold of her shoulders. "It's okay. It isn't real." She looked up at him in disbelief. "Isn't real?" she said. "No, it isn't real. It was a nightmare. You're safe." He pulled her into a tight embrace. She didn't resist. "I'm safe," she repeated. "Yes, you are," he said, cradling her face in his hand. "You're with me now. You'll always be safe with me."


	3. Chapter 3

Jack woke up to find Rose curled up against him, his arms wrapped tightly around her. _I thought this day would never come,_ he thought. She was sleeping deeply. There was no sign of the terror that had plagued her the night before. He wished things could stay that way. He didn't know how long it would be before she woke up, but he was determined not to move until she did._The last thing she needs right now is to wake up alone. _

She didn't begin to stir until the early afternoon. Jack watched silently as she opened her eyes and raised her head. She looked at him and blinked. Then blinked again.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he said gently.

"I didn't believe you." Her voice was hoarse.

"Yeah, I know, but it doesn't matter. Feel any better?"

"I actually do feel a little better." She sounded surprised. "I'm sorry about last night," she added, ducking her head in shame.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I--I just fell back into your life, this horrible, ugly mess--" Her face twisted into a grimace.

"There is absolutely nothing horrible or ugly about you," he insisted. "I don't know what happened to you. I'm sure I can't even begin to understand how hard it's been for you, but I want to. If you'll let me. Rose, I love you. Maybe you didn't believe me when I said it yesterday--and maybe you don't believe me now, but it's true. I've literally spent the last three years trying to find you. I'm not letting you go now, no matter what."

She studied his face. "You don't look like you're lying."

"That's good to know since I'm not."

They didn't go anywhere over the next week. They barely left each other's sight. They also didn't talk very much. Jack didn't know what to say. He didn't know the right words to make her trust him again. He desperately wanted to ask what had happened during their time apart, but he knew asking would just push her further away. She would tell him if--and when--she wanted him to know.

Rose was in a daze. There were times when she was sure it was all nothing more than an extremely vivid dream, but then there were times when she was sure it was all real. She wouldn't let him touch her during the day except for the occasional brush of his hand against hers. At night they lay as close to their own edge of the bed as they could. Jack would stay awake and wait for her nightmare to begin. At the first sign of distress he would pull her into his arms. She would bury her face in his shirt and cling to him. He'd stroke her hair and whisper soothingly until she fell asleep again. He'd lie there holding her, refusing to fall alseep himself until he was certain the nightmare wasn't coming back.

As the second week began, Jack noticed their supply of food was dwindling. He also realized he was probably no longer employed and would, at some point, need to be. He wasn't sure how to deal with the situation. He didn't want to leave Rose alone--didn't think she needed to be alone, for that matter, but he wasn't sure if she could handle leaving the apartment. She was finally starting to seem somewhat at ease. She still flinched if he moved toward her too quickly, but she was starting to talk a bit more. Now that she was eating regularly she was starting to lose her half-starved look. She was even sleeping better. The nightmares were still coming, but it was getting easier to calm her down.

Finally, he brought it up. "Rose?"

She was curled up on the floor next to the window, watching the people below. She turned to face him. "Jack?"

In spite of everything, just hearing her say his name made him feel warm inside.

"We're running low on food," he said, deciding it was best to tackle one issue at a time, "do you need to stay here or can you go with me to get some?"

"Take me with you," she said quickly.

Once on the street Rose's fear of the outside world overcame her fear of being touched. She grabbed his hand and held on as tightly as she could. Jack didn't know if it was a good sign or a bad one, but he quickened their pace anyway.

That night in bed he was startled to hear her speak. "I know how much trouble I'm causing you," she said quietly. "You don't have to do this."

"I never said I had to do anything." He rolled onto his side so he could see her. "Rose, I want you in my life. I don't care what it takes."

She rolled onto her side as well. "I won't even let you touch me."

"Doesn't matter. Doesn't change how I feel."

"If you knew all the things I've done you'd feel differently."

"There is nothing you can say that would make me not love you."

"Promise?"


	4. Chapter 4

"I promise," Jack said. He braced himself for whatever she was going to say next. Rose sat up. She lowered her head, letting her hair cover most of her face. Jack watched as she slowly ran a finger down her left forearm. "12," she said. She repeated the process with the other arm. "15....I don't remember if I've ever counted them before...It doesn't seem like so many now."

It was too dark for him to see her arms in any detail, but he knew she was counting scars. He'd caught glimpses of them at different times, but she'd never let him see them up close.

"What are they from?" he asked quietly.

She jerked her head up, startled by the sound of his voice. It was as if she'd forgotten he was even there. "Glass," she said. "Window glass."

He tried to ignore his racing mind and waited for her to continue. After what felt like an eternity, she did. "I jumped. Isn't that kind of ironic?" she said. She laughed humourlessly.

"Why'd you jump?"

"There wasn't any other way..." Her voice shook slightly. "I wouldn't--I couldn't stay there. It would have killed me. _He_ would have killed me. I know it. He came so close, but stopped..."

And suddenly she was back there. Still shivering from the icy water. The heavy wool coat she wore still soaked through. Slumped on the floor she didn't even have the strength to try and protect herself---

"Rose!" Jack's voice ripped through her flashback, bringing her out of it. He cradled her face in his hands. "Don't go away, Rose. Stay here," he said. "Stay with me."

"Don't let me do that," she begged, tears in her eyes. "Please don't let me do that." She wrapped her arms around him. He was too upset to notice it was the first time she'd touched him while fully awake. All he could do was hug her tightly."You don't have to talk about it," he said. "I'm sorry I asked you to. You don't ever have to."

"I want to," she whispered. "But I'm not strong enough."

"Don't say that. It isn't true."

They sat in silence after that. Eventually Rose fell asleep. Jack slowly laid down, careful not to move her more than was necessary. He stayed awake as long as he could, making sure the nightmare didn't come, and for the first time, it didn't.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: So glad you guys like this story! There might be some bits in this chapter that border on the cliche--writing a dark story that doesn't ignore a certain character is difficult to do without at least coming close--but it's kind of brief as far as the story as whole will be concerned. A lot more can happen in three years.

It had been two days since her first attempt to tell him about her experiences, and neither of them had dared mention it. Jack was terrified of sending her into another flashback. Rose was just ashamed of herself. She kept wishing she could curl into a ball and disappear. Things might have continued on like that forever if the silence hadn't started getting to her.

"Jack," she said quietly, keeping her head down. "I need to try again."

"Are you sure?" he asked, making no attempt to hide his concern for her.

She nodded quickly. "I have to. We can't stay like this forever. It isn't fair to you...it isn't fair to _me_," her voice rose slightly, "and the longer I wait the harder it'll be until eventually it won't be possible."

"Okay." He touched her hand.

"I thought you were dead," she continued. "You...it didn't seem possible that you could be alive. I was so sure...and when the boat came I almost didn't get on it. I didn't even care it was there. I just wanted to stay with you. I don't know how I could have been so stupid...how I could be so wrong.."

"You weren't the only one that was sure I was officer who pulled me into a boat almost threw me back in. He only didn't because someone else said they could see me breathing."

"How did you know I was alive?"

"At first I didn't. When I checked the survivor list your name wasn't on it, but then I looked under a different one."

"When they asked me what my name was I couldn't imagine saying anything else."

Jack wanted to say, "Because that's what it should be," but he didn't. Instead he remained quiet and waited for her to continue.

"I knew I had to find some way to survive without you no matter how much I didn't want to, and I found something that made me think maybe things might be okay. I wouldn't be happy--how could I be, without you? But I would be able to take care of myself until I figured out where to go or what to do....except I was wrong." She paused.

Jack could see she was becoming lost in her thoughts. "Go on Rose," he said gently. "If you can."

"I needed that." She took a deep breath and began again. "You weren't the only one who thought to look at the list again.I never saw it coming. I was so wrapped up in the pain of losing you I wasn't paying enough attention to what was going on around me. One minute I was alone and the next..I wasn't."

"What happened?" he asked, though a part of him would have preferred to never know.

_April 16, 1912_

Cal had just about given her up for dead when he heard there was a survivor list circulating. He checked. She wasn't there. _All the more proof_, he thought. But then it hit him. He checked again. _So that's what she's doing. _

It didn't take him long to spot her once he reached the third class area. There was no mistaking that hair. He stayed out of sight, hoping to lull her into a false sense of security. Either it worked or she was too far gone to think about watching for him. He didn't really care which it was. He followed her off the ship, biding his time. Waiting for the crowd to thin out.

Finally it did.

Rose stopped walking and looked around. She would have been hopelessly lost except that she had no idea where she was going. Suddenly she felt a hand curl around her throat. Her body stiffened.

"You look a bit lost sweetpea."

_Calm down. Don't panic, _her mind ordered.

It was good advice. Too bad it wouldn't change anything.

Rose didn't remember anything after that until she found herself struggling toward consciousness. She didn't know where she was or how she had gotten she looked around her heart began to sink. "No," she said aloud. "No, no, no."

"No, no," present day Rose chanted. She slowly rocked back and forth. Her eyes stared at some distance object only she could see.

"Rose, come back." Jack's voice was soft but insistent. "You have to come back. It's over. You're safe now." He moved to put an arm around her, and she jumped away as if he'd hit her. She buried her face in her arms. "Don't," she pleaded. "Please don't touch me."

"I won't," he said soothingly. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do." She began to cry quietly. "Just breathe," he said. "You're safe now. Try to believe me."

"I tried to--I couldn't--" she said stammered.

"Rose, it's okay. You don't have to do this." Jack was on the verge of tears himself. He pushed them back. He had to be strong for her. She needed him.

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I have to try..."

_April 1912_

She didn't know how long she'd been there. It hurt to swallow. Her throat felt swollen to the touch. There was a mirror, but she didn't bother getting up to see how it looked. She just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. She doubted she could find a way out even if she tried. Eventually her attention was drawn to the sound of a door opening. She turned her head, but her view was obscured by furniture. She could hear the door closing and footsteps growing closer. She squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if it looked like she hadn't woken up....

Pain shot through her. She gasped. She barely had time to react before Cal hit her side with another swift kick. Tears spilled out of her eyes.

"That's what you get for lying," he said. He dropped to his knees and pinned her to the floor. She looked up into his face and saw...nothing. Just nothing. His eyes were empty. There was none of the anger she had expected to see, and that scared her even more.

_Fall 1915_

"You okay?" Jack asked. He wanted to touch her, but he knew better than to try. She nodded. "I'm okay." "Do you want to stop?" She shook her head. "But I think you know what happened next."


	6. Chapter 6

_Fall 1915_

"How long were you there?"

"I don't know," Rose said. "I know he found me on the 16th but...I stopped trying to figure it out. It didn't matter. The only thing I cared about was staying alive."

Jack felt sick. _You weren't there. You could have done nothing_. But he didn't believe that. He was sure he could have prevented it all if he'd just held on a bit longer.

"But I wasn't sure I would," she continued. "He didn't say he'd kill me...he didn't have to...I was technically already dead. He could do whatever he wanted. And I guess that's what made him get careless. He left me alone long enough that I was able to talk myself into getting up and trying to find a way out."

"And you found the window."

"I found the window."

_April 1912_

She didn't think about it. She just ran at the glass as fast as she could. It would either be her delivery or her death, and at that point she wasn't sure which was which anymore. She covered her face as her body slammed into the sidewalk. A crowd began to form around her. She struggled to her feet, ignoring the pain shooting through her legs. She looked up at the shattered window and was grateful for Cal's fear of heights.

The crowd parted to let her pass. If there were offers of help, she didn't hear them. All she could hear was the voice in her head tellling her to get away as fast as she could. Fortunately, or rather miraclulously, nothing was broken. She was covered in bruises, but it would be impossible to know how many of those were caused by fall and how many were caused by Cal. Shards of glass stuck out of her arms. Blood ran down her dress, turning her white skirt red. Yet she walked on, seemingly oblivious to all of it.

_Fall 1915_

"What happened after that?" Jack hoped fervently it was something good even as he was sure it wasn't.

"After that..." Rose stopped. "The police found me, and you'd think that would have been a good thing..."

_April 1912_

She wandered for a day, fueled by pure adenaline, but eventually it wore off. She collapsed into a doorway. She couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten--was it on the _Carpathia?_ Or was it that last lunch on the _Titanic_? Not to mention everything else her body had been through.

"Hey!"

She looked up. Two cops were standing over her. "What happened to you?" She tried to make her mouth form coherent sentences, but she was too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to make much sense. And unfortunately, out of all the cops in New York, the two that found her were possibly the least likely to be sensitive to her plight.

"Looks like someone did a number on her," one of them said. "No," the other one said. "I think she's just crazy."

"I'm not--I'm not crazy," Rose said. "I'm really not. If I'd been smarter--" she looked at them earnestly. "If I'd been paying more attention he couldn't have done it." Her eyes were wide. "You can see that, right?"

They saw something, but it wasn't Rose's sanity.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Yes, there is a slight--bad--Freudian joke in this one. I couldn't help it. And thanks again to everyone for the reviews. ML, I'm actually not a psych major though I've been told I should be. I'm a poli sci major and philosophy major. And thanks for the note about the transitions. I was going for something a bit confusing, but I can see where it gets a bit too much at times.

"What'd they do?"Jack asked, fearing the answer.

"Not what you think."

_June 1912_

"Why won't you just talk to me?" Dr. Erik Smith leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. "You've been here for over a month now, and you've hardly said a word."

"That's not true," Rose said. "I told you from the beginning that I don't need to be here."

"If you don't need to be here then why are you here?"

Rose sighed. "Because I was brought here."

"And why were you brought here?"

"Because it was easier to call me crazy then listen to me," she snapped.

"No, that isn't why. You were brought here because you need help. You bit a cop in the face while he was trying to help you. That's not the sort of thing a sane woman does is it?"

"He was _touching _me."

"And that makes what you did okay?"

"I'm sorry I hurt him. I really am. But you have to understand I couldn't let him keep touching me." Rose's voice was laced with desperation. "I just..I just couldn't."

Erik shook his head. "Don't you see that you have a problem? Sane women don't respond like that when a man touches them." He leaned back in his chair.

"The only man I ever wanted to touch me is dead," Rose said bitterly.

"Didn't you say your father was dead?"

_Fall 1915_

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Oh God, Rose, how'd you get out?"

"I didn't. At least not for awhile."

_June 1912_

"Where do you think these delusions come from?" Erik asked.

"They're not delusions!" Rose insisted. "I'm telling you the truth. I've been telling you the truth. You wanted me to talk so I did. For the past two weeks all I've done is talk, but you're still not understanding."

"I'm trying to understand, but you're making it difficult. You refuse to admit that you suffer from delusions."

"But I don't!" Rose wailed in frustration.

"Miss Dawson, if that is indeed your name, first you come in here babbling incoherently, cut to ribbons and covered in bruises. The only sensible thing we can get out of you is your name. Then for a month you refuse to talk about yourself. You make me pry bits of information out of you with a verbal crowbar. Then when you finally do begin to talk you start insisting that you're original name isn't Rose Dawson at all. You changed it to that in honor of your lover. Who died in the sinking of the _Titanic_. Who you met on said ship. While you were engaged to another, very wealthy man. A man, who incidentally enough, did lose his fiancee in the sinking." Erik leaned back in his chair. "Nothing about your story makes any sense. There is no way it happened."

"But it did!"

"If you refuse to admit you're problem that's fine, but you must know you can't leave until you do."

"Then I guess I'm never leaving," Rose said.


	8. Chapter 8

_Fall 1915_

"When did it get so dark in here?" Rose asked suddenly. Jack looked around. She was right. At some point, unnoticed by either of them, night had fallen. Almost as if on cue, his stomach growled.

"I don't know, but are you hungry? I know it's kind of a weird thing to ask but…."

"Actually I am," Rose said.

As they devoured the sandwiches Jack quickly threw together, Rose continued her story. "So I thought I'd never get out…."

_January 1913_

They'd put her in solitary confinement again. She was a danger to herself they said. It didn't matter if she'd smashed the window in her room because she wanted to use the glass to slit or wrists or if she'd smashed it because she was searching for a way to escape. The result was the same.

"You should know better than this," Erik scolded her as she was carried to what the doctors called the "quiet room." And she had to admit, he was right. She'd done it three times before. The same thing had happened each time.

Now she lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. It was padded just like the rest of the room. There were no windows. Being in there was like being completely cut off from reality. It was impossible to maintain any sense of time. Days passed like minutes. Weeks hours.

Of course, since the sinking, she'd barely bothered to keep track of time at all. She knew the season had changed because the people she saw out her window were wearing different clothes. She couldn't have named the day or the month. Sometimes it seemed as though she'd always been there, especially after she'd been in the quiet room for awhile. But always, just as she was on the verge of agreeing with the doctors, of saying, "Yes, it is all a delusion. Cure me!" they would let her out again.

Except this time they weren't. She didn't know how much time had passed, but she knew, somehow, that it had been much longer than usual. "They're trying to drive me out of my mind for real," she said aloud to herself. Her voice echoed in the empty room.

_Maybe you should just give in,_ her mind said.

"What?"

_It would get you out of here._

Rose considered the idea. It was true. Telling them what they wanted to hear would probably be the quickest way to get out. "But I can't do that. I can't let them win," she said.

_Why not? Who cares if they think they're right? You'll be _free.

"Free to do what?"

_Anything. Don't you get it? _

"I don't care."

_You should. Do you think Jack died so you could just rot in a place like this?_

"No, he didn't." Rose jumped to her feet. "No, no, he didn't." She began kicking the door as hard as she could. Eventually someone would notice and come see what the delusional girl was up to. "And when they do, I'll say whatever they want."

_Fall 1915_

"So you got out?" Relief passed over Jack. He'd momentarily forgotten the state she was in when he'd found her.

"Well, that was what I was trying to do, but it turned out the second I was willing to say it was all in my head they were willing to believe me….


	9. Chapter 9

_January 1913_

"So now you're saying it really was all a delusion after all?" Erik arched an eyebrow. "Quite a change from what you've been saying all these months isn't it? Suddenly you just decide it was all in your head?"

Rose could tell from his tone that he still wasn't taking her seriously, but she pressed on anyway. "Yes, something like that," she said, lowering her eyes deferentially. "I know it seems sudden, but I had a lot of time to think while I was in the quiet room. It really helped me clear my head this time."

"That's very interesting." Erik reached into his left desk drawer and pulled out a file. He flipped it open. He snatched a photograph and held it up. "Tell me, doesn't this look an awful lot like you?"

_Fall 1915_

"What he just decided to check out your story after telling you how crazy you were for almost a year?" Jack shook his head in disbelief. "What kind of person does that?"

"He said he hadn't planned to do it. He was discussing me with someone--" Rose's mouth twisted. "—and they mentioned that there was a resemblance between his description of me and the person I claimed to be." She laughed bitterly. "Which makes sense, don't you think?"

_January 1913_

Rose was speechless. In his hand he held a photograph of her and Cal that had been taken while they were in Europe the previous March. "H—how did you get that?" she stammered.

"That's not important," he said, laying the photograph down. "What is important is that I know all about you now."

"I thought it was just all in my head."

"I thought so too, but now I know otherwise."

"So does that mean I can leave?" Rose tried to keep her voice from sounding hopeful.

Erik shook his head. "Oh no, not just yet."

"Why not? You just proved I'm sane!"

"Maybe so. But do you have any idea what an analyst in a state hospital makes?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He ignored her. "Very little. It's damned frustrating."

"I can't get you money if that's what you think," Rose protested. "I don't have any. My family doesn't have any. He won't give you anything, if that's what you're thinking," she said. "It's been too long. I'm not that important."

"Don't you think I know that?" He looked almost amused.

"What else could you possibly want?"

_Fall 1915_

"He didn't—"

Rose nodded slowly. "He did."

_March 1913_

She stopped bathing. She couldn't stand to be naked in front of so many people. No matter what she told herself she couldn't stop feeling their eyes, almost like hands on her skin. When she'd come into the hospital she'd had trouble allowing people to touch her. Now she wouldn't let anyone get close enough to try.

She couldn't even look at herself without feeling sick. She stopped changing her clothes. Her hair hung limply down her back. Once it had been compared to a fire. Now it looked more like an old, dirty penny. Her nails were broken and bitten down to the quick. She had always been fair skinned, but now she just looked sallow.

"Don't you care about what you're doing to yourself?" The question was posed by Dr. Lionel Bellows. He and Erik watched Rose from across Erik's desk.

"Why should I?" Rose answered flatly.

"You're not making a very good case for your sanity, you know that right?"

"Are we back to pretending I'm crazy? You really must let me know what game we're playing ahead of time."

"Miss Dewitt—"

"_Dawson_," Rose snapped.

"Do you see what I meant?" Erik said. He turned to Lionel. "I don't know how to help her. First she tells me this farfetched story that I find out is actually true, and then she starts saying none of that is true. I just don't know what to do with her."

"Could have fooled me," Rose muttered to herself.

Erik sighed. "I want to help you."

"Still? I would have thought I'd be too repulsive by now."

"You have let your appearance go," Lionel said, "but we do want to help you. Dr. Smith has been trying to help you for months now."

"I'll bet he has." She glared at Erik. "How long after you met me did you decide you wanted to _help_ me, can you tell me that?" He avoided her eyes. "Or was it after you found out who I was? Did you let yourself think about it once you knew you might have something you could hold over my head?"

"That's enough Miss Dawson," Lionel said.

One week later she found herself back in Erik's office. "Where's your friend?" she asked. "You could have let him watch."

Erik's jaw tightened. "Would you just sit down and listen?"

"Ooh, are we going to start talking about my repressed feelings for my father again? About how I left my fiancée because he was too masculine and chose a less domineering man as a lover because he reminded me of the mother I never had?" she asked feigning enthusiasm. She dropped into her usual chair. "Whatever could we be exploring today?"

"We'll be exploring what it looks like when I sign this form and you leave and never come back again."


	10. Chapter 10

_Fall 1915_

"Everything just kind of blurs together after that," Rose said. "Suddenly I was back out on the streets again. I had no money. I had nowhere to go. I couldn't sleep more than an hour or two at a time before I'd wake up screaming. I was terrified of being touched. Even a stranger bumping into me was too much. I just kept getting sucked into these waking nightmares, and I..." She shook her head. "I don't know how to describe it exactly..."

_Summer 1913_

She lay slumped in a doorway. She didn't know how long she'd been there. She didn't care. All she wanted was to sleep. She would have given anything to just sink down into a soft bed and sleep a nightmare free sleep forever and ever. She didn't want to die; she just wanted to rest. The only good thing about being exhausted was that she couldn't concentrate on how hungry she was. When was the last time she'd eaten? Had it been when that woman had lain that money in her hand as she'd passed?

"Hey."

Rose looked up. A man stood over her.

"You look just about hungry enough to do anything."

She wasn't, but she would be eventually.

_Winter 1914_

Sometimes he came to her. There wouldn't be any warning. One minute she'd be alone, and the next he'd be there. At first she'd been sure she had lost her mind, but she didn't care. He was there, and it didn't matter how or why. She'd reached for him, but he'd recoiled from her touch. Shaking his head sadly he'd said, "No."

"But why?" she'd wailed.

"You know why."

_Fall 1915_

Rose avoided his eyes, afraid of the repulsion she was sure she'd find in them. "Oh Rose," he said softly. He reached out to touch her face but stopped just short of actually touching her. She looked up and was shocked to see only sadness and love in his eyes.

"Don't you hate me?" she asked.

"I could_ never_ hate you," he said vehemently. "Never."

"But I--"

"I know. And you should never have had to do that. It wasn't your fault. Even if you had been better prepared for life on your own, you were in no shape to just be thrown out into the world. Rose, you had no-one. You said so yourself. I could never blame you for what you did to try to survive or for anything that happened to you."

She began to cry silently. "How can you still love me? How can you not be repulsed by me?"

"Rose, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel about you. I don't think I even could. All I've wanted for the last three years was to find you....and marry you."

"You did?" Rose asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"You don't want to marry the crazy girl."

"You're not crazy. You never were." He sighed heavily. "Rose, some truly awful, utterly unconscionable things happened to you, and you've been affected by them. But you're not crazy. And I don't hate you."

"I wish I could believe you," she said sadly.

"Well, I'm gonna keep saying it until you do."

"What if that never happens?"

"Then so be it. But I'm not letting go of you."

Later that night, while Rose slept, Jack lay awake processing everything she'd told him._I should have found her sooner. I should have looked harder._He couldn't stop thinking that if he'd just tried harder he could have spared her some of the misery she'd suffered through.

As it was the best he could hope for would be to help her heal. He knew she couldn't accept it when he said he loved her, but she trusted him not to hurt least, he thought she did. She had stayed there with him. She slept beside him and let him comfort her nightmares away. Maybe, someday, he just might be able to make her happy again.


	11. Chapter 11

They left New York a few weeks later. Jack didn't know where they were going to go. All he knew was he needed to get Rose _away._She needed a place to heal in peace. He refused to let himself think about how he might have been affected by any of it. There would be plenty of time to focus on himself later. They eventually settled in a small town in Ohio, chosen because Jack realized he didn't have the money to take them any further.

As the weeks turned into months he began noticing subtle changes in Rose. She slowly became more comfortable with being left alone. She wouldn't venture outside without him though. Her sleeping changed too. Her nightmares became more and more infrequent until gradually it was as though she'd never had them. She stopped getting that faraway look in her eyes and freezing where she stood.

Until finally..

_Summer 1917_

Jack was leaning against the back door of their apartment watching the sunset, his mind clear of everything when he was startled by a hand on his arm. He looked over and saw Rose standing beside him, her left hand resting lightly on his forearm.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Jack."

"Yes?"

She looked into his eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For taking care of me. For loving me--even when I didn't believe you or understand why."

"Rose you don't have to thank me for that. I did it because I wanted to. I want you in my life, no matter what it takes."

"I want to be in your life," she whispered. She reached up and touched his face. "I don't want you to have to wait for me anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm know I'm not...okay yet, but I'm getting there. There are some things I don't know if I can ever do or give you, but if you still wanted to marry me..."

Jack felt as though he were floating. "Do you mean that?" he asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

"I mean it."

The next morning they made official what was already true. Rose was never completely free from the effects of her experiences, but she kept getting better at living with , she didn't flinch at all when Jack touched her.


	12. Chapter 12

She had improved—was improving. But there were times when she pictured herself as a porcelain doll—the same image she'd once wanted to much to destroy, she thought, amused by the irony—that some careless child has dropped and allowed to shatter, the pieces flying in all directions. Putting them back together wouldn't be impossible, but few people would want to bother. No matter how hard you tried, the cracks would still be there.

She let him touch her, but there were unspoken boundaries—unspoken because although they both felt their presence, neither of them dared talk about it. It was almost as if by not mentioning it they were escaping somehow. What problems? their silence seemed to say. Rose didn't want to think about it, but there were times when she couldn't stop herself. Lying in the dark, Jack's arms around her, her mind refused to focus on anything else.

There were ways he could touch her and ways he couldn't, and she never had to tell him which was which. He just knew. He knew when it became okay to take her hand without warning, when it became okay to drape his arm around her waist, when it became okay to hug her—when she didn't need to be hysterical or consumed by fear for his touch to be welcomed.

But it only went so far. There were parts of her body she didn't even like to touch herself. Letting him would have been impossible. He hadn't even seen her body since that first bath she'd taken after he'd found her. Lying there, watching him sleep, she wanted to tell him that she hadn't seen it either. Before she bathed she covered the mirror. She'd learned how to undress and wash and then dress again without looking down. Once she was safely enclosed in the first layer of clothing—often a second or on particularly bad days a third layer would follow—she would uncover the mirror and brush her hair. Sometimes she imagined she had no body at all. Sometimes she almost hoped that if she finally looked down at herself she would see nothing.

She didn't think he knew. He didn't ask. He didn't mention it. But it wasn't like him to try and force anything out of her. He had more patience than she had ever thought possible, for anyone. She knew he watched her, his eyes following her movements, but when she looked over and caught them, what she saw wasn't what she expected. There was no trace of the unbridled lust, the pure hunger, she was so accustomed to seeing in the eyes of men.

Jack's eyes were so different. Looking into them scared her sometimes. She wanted so badly to—and did more and more—trust what she saw there, but there was a voice in the back of her mind that told her not to. She tried to ignore it. As time went by it grew fainter and fainter until some days she didn't hear it at all. Those were the days when she would look across the room at him and be filled with the overwhelming desire to throw herself onto him, wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him until her lungs felt about to burst. "Erase it! All of it!" she wanted to yell. "You were first. I wanted you—only you—show me how to do that again."

She never did. The moment would pass. He would feel her staring at him and look up from whatever he was doing, concern filling his blue eyes. His first thought always, _Is she okay? _He thought only of her, of keeping her safe and warm, of banishing the ghosts that plagued her. It was easy to give up himself for her, though as she'd reminded him once, he didn't have to. "I know that," he'd said, and that had been the end of it.

And then one night she looked over at him and she knew. It was time.

His hair shone in the light. It fell across his forehead and into his eyes. His head was bent down, his attention absorbed by the paper in front of him. His skilled hands moved quickly. She liked watching him draw. His skill amazed her. She wished he had more time to do it. She knew if it weren't for her there was no telling where he'd be or what he'd be doing. He stayed still for her, because it was what he thought she needed.

She pushed those thoughts aside. There wasn't time to wallow in guilt. She had this one brief moment, and if she didn't take it who knew how long it would be before another one came along.

He didn't notice she was sitting beside him until he felt her hand on his arm. He looked up at her. She looked….different. That was the only word he could think of to describe it. There was something different about her eyes. It was slightly familiar, but he wasn't sure why. "Are you okay?" he asked, though there was nothing in her expression to indicate that she wasn't. It had just become a standard inquiry.

She nodded. "I'm fine." She moved her hand to his hair, combing her fingers through the silken strands. He watched her silently, afraid to think about what she could be doing. She lightly slid her fingertips down his cheek. Any doubts about her intentions were slowly disappearing from his mind, though he tried to push any such thoughts away.

He'd been trying to push those thoughts away for a long time. He loved her. He'd married her. And he'd understood what that meant even before she'd said it. There were some things that just wouldn't happen. He refused to entertain hopes of "Someday.." believing it was better to accept the way things were and, very likely, would always be. He didn't blame her. Her feelings were understandable—justified. He'd give her whatever she needed.

He just hadn't anticipated how difficult that would eventually become. It was easy for him to say he could go the rest of their lives never needing or even wanting anything. He was rather altruistic by nature, and where she was concerned, he was willing to give up anything—everything. And he had. He didn't regret it. It was just sometimes he wished things were different. Some nights when they climbed into bed together and she laid her head on his shoulder, his arm cradling her body, he wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt.

He tried not to think about the effect her thumb tracing his lips was having on him. She leaned forward and let her forehead rest against his. "What're you doing?" he whispered, finding his voice.

"Sshh," she said. If they talked about it, it wouldn't happen. She wouldn't do it. Not letting herself think about it any further, she bent her head slightly and kissed him.


	13. Chapter 13

Jack couldn't believe what was happening. He wondered for a moment if he was dreaming. Her lips were cool against his. He wanted to deepen the kiss. He wanted to taste her mouth again. He fought the urge to pull her closer, to crush her body against his. But doing anything other than following her lead would just destroy all the progress she'd made. She was kissing him. Compared to the way she'd kissed him once upon another time, it was an extremely chaste kiss. But that didn't matter. It was still a kiss.

She pulled her head back and looked at him. She probed his eyes, looking for what he didn't know. He wanted to ask but knew better than to speak again. She nodded in answer to a question only she could hear before taking his face in her hands and kissing him again—less chastely this time. Hesitantly, giving her the chance to stop him—though she couldn't see what he was doing he was sure she could sense it—he laid his hands on her hair, letting her curls twist around his fingers.

She moved closer to him and her hands slid from his face to his neck. She lay half on his lap, half off. He longed to pull her the rest of the way onto him. At that moment, feeling how close she was and how powerless he was to bring her any closer, he felt a kind of anger he'd never known he could feel. It wasn't supposed to be like that. They weren't supposed to end up like that. It was ridiculous to think of anything that happened in life as "unfair"—who had a fair life?—but that was the word that came to mind. It was unfair that he loved her so much and yet he couldn't make love to her. It was unfair that they'd been torn apart for those three years. It was unfair that she had been broken and he hadn't known about it in time to stop any of it.

And just as quickly as the anger came, it burnt itself out. None of that was as important as what was actually happening right then.

She pulled her mouth just far enough away from his so that she could speak clearly. "Take me to bed, Jack," she whispered.

Something in her eyes told him not to question her command.

He gently lowered her onto their bed and laid down beside her. One arm was under her back, the other stroked her face. He was turned on his side, looking down at her. "Can I talk now?" he whispered.

She smiled and nodded. "I didn't realize I was that authoritative."

He heard something in her voice he hadn't heard in years. He didn't think he would ever hear it again. She was teasing him. She wasn't as confident as she had once been, but that didn't matter. She was _trying_ to be.

"You know where this is going, right?" he asked anxiously.

"I know."

"You're okay with that? I mean, really okay?"

"I think I am," she whispered. "But it might turn out that I'm not."

"You don't have to be," he assured her. "I don't expect anything from you."

"I know you don't. But what I've started to realize is, I have to take back this part of myself. I said once you were the only man I ever wanted to touch me, and I meant it. Only that didn't work out. And I know what an understatement that is." She paused and took a deep breath. "I realized that if I want to move past what happened to me, to truly move on and stop getting sucked into all those memories, I have to make new ones. And I can only do that by facing what scares me. And I can only do that with you."

He'd been so afraid all along that she didn't trust him. Now he saw just how much she did, and looking at it head-on, he felt unworthy of what she was giving him. "Are you sure?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'm sure." She pulled him down and kissed him. He pulled back. "Tell me to stop," he said. "I don't care when. I will." He lowered his head and kissed her again. She tilted her head to the side and his lips moved from her mouth to her cheek. He took the hint and made a trail of kisses down her jawline, hesitating when he reached her throat.

"It's okay," she said, twisting her fingers in his hair.

He continued to move downward, stopping again, this time just above her breasts. He looked up at her. She was watching him and smiling slightly. Her breathing had become heavier and her eyes looked slightly feverish. But she didn't look scared. "Go on," she said. And so he did. He lost himself in her. It didn't matter that they were both still completely clothed. He could feel her body through the fabric, and that was enough. His hands moved tentatively. He let his fingertips glide over her, afraid to do much else. He kissed her breasts through her dress and found himself immersed in a memory of the taste of her skin. His mouth traveled lower, to her stomach. He stopped and looked up at her again.

"Come back up here," she said.

He didn't hesitate. He wrapped an arm around her and stroked her hair with his free hand. "You okay?"

"I'm okay. Just don't—don't go there yet."

"I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"I believe that." She reached up and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. He moved his arm when she was finished and watched as she pulled it off him. She ran her hands across his bare chest. "Kiss me," she commanded.


	14. Chapter 14

The further they went the more she wondered what she'd been so afraid of. Even through the layers of cloth that separated them from her skin, his hands felt just as she remembered them. Tentatively exploring—he'd been terrified of going too far during their first time together, even after she'd told him to go as far as possible—and yet somehow, in some way, sure of himself. Sure that his hands were the only hands she wanted touching her, that he was the only person who could have ever brought even this far back.

He kept looking at her, silently asking if she wanted him to stop. There was a tenderness in his eyes that made her want to cry. It didn't seem possible that the world had room for all the people who'd hurt her _and_ him. He was too beautiful, too pure, too—there wasn't a word big enough to contain everything he was to her. She didn't want him to stop. She wanted him to touch her—finally. But what she wanted and what she was capable of were too different things. He reached the end of her stomach and stopped, waiting for her signal. Stop or go?

A wave of terror overcame her. She couldn't let him go there. Not yet. She searched his eyes, waiting to see them change, harden, but it never happened. He gazed at her lovingly and did as she asked. _Of course he did. It's Jack_. Her hands spread flat against his bare chest—it was just like she remembered—her fear dissolved leaving a flicker of desire in its place. And suddenly it wasn't about overcoming her fear. She didn't just want to let herself let him touch her anymore. She _wanted_ him.

She kissed his jaw and slid out of his arms. He scanned her face for traces of fear. He found none. He moved into a sitting position and watched as she unbuttoned her dress, not daring to speak. Her eyes found his. "Look at me?" she asked quietly. He nodded. She pulled her arms, one by one, out of the sleeves. He sucked in his breath as the fabric fell away revealing her porcelain skin. She looked down at her exposed breasts—looking, he thought—as though she were seeing them for the first time. In a way, she was.

She lifted her head and met his eyes. "Is it bad?"

He sighed heavily. "No. You're beautiful."

She blushed under his gaze. She didn't even know she still could. Quickly, before she had time to talk herself out of it, she dropped the dress.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Sorry it took a few days to get this one updated. I'm working on more updates though.

Rose stared down at herself. There it was. Her body. Except for a few scars here and there, it was exactly the same as it had always been. With Jack making sure she ate every day it hadn't taken her long to lose her half-starved skinniness, and now she looked exactly as she had before any of it happened. It didn't seem possible. How could it just be the same? If she turned her arms the right way the scars would be completely hidden. If she pressed her legs together the right way the scar on her left thigh became invisible.

Jack couldn't take his eyes off her. He had seen a lot of women's bodies during his short life, but none of them even compared to hers. He held his breath as she slowly stepped toward him. Silently, her eyes locked on his, she lowered herself onto his lap. He let out a ragged breath as she leaned forward, her breasts just barely brushing against his bare chest. She flattened one hand against the bed to steady herself and brought the other one up to his face. He tilted his head, leaning into her touch.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. It was all he could do to keep from reaching out and touching her. His hands twitched with the memory of her silken skin. _Oh God just let me touch you. Please._

She looked down at herself and then back up at him. "Say it again," she whispered.

"You're beautiful."

She moved her hand from his face to the back of his neck, pressing as much of herself as she could against him. Her lips were all but touching his. "Again." She kissed him. "You're beautiful," he murmured into her mouth. Without ending the kiss she rolled onto her back, pulling him onto her. Not once during the entire maneuver did he let his hands touch her.

"You didn't touch me," she said, surprised. "Not with your hands."

"Not until you tell me I can."

She picked up one of his hands and positioned it above a breast. She let go, leaving it suspended in the air just above her skin. "Touch me."

She didn't need to tell him twice.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: I never intended to go this long without updating. I am sorry! The next chapter will happen soon. I need to do more research to make sure what happens next is as accurate as I can get it.

When he woke up the next morning she was already awake. A serene smile played about her lips. There was a calmness radiating from her he hadn't felt in years. "Hey," he whispered. "How'd you sleep?"

"Wonderfully."

He smiled. "That's what I like to hear." She snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his neck. "I never thought I'd feel that way again," she said, breathing in the scent of his skin. _Neither did I_, he thought. _I didn't even dare hope._ "I would have been okay if you never had," he assured her. "Just being in the same room with you is enough for me." She tilted her head up and looked into his face. _How can he be real? How has the world not destroyed a heart like that? _"I know you would have. But I wanted my life back. All of it."

He kissed her gently. "I'll do whatever it takes to get it back for you."

"You've already done more than you'll ever know. I'd be dead without you."

He ignored the sadness and anger that threatened to overtake him. _She's here now. You're holding her now. _Silence settled over them. They held each other, bellies pressed together, legs intertwined, each basking in the other's warmth. _We should have been like this years ago,_ Rose thought, a spark of anger flaring up.She pushed it down. There was no sense in dwelling on what should have or could have been. They were together now, and that was all that mattered. She sighed. "Nothing will ever tear us apart again, will it?"

"I won't let anything separate us ever again." He kissed her. "I promise."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we...could we...leave?"

He was confused. "Leave? You mean right now?"

"No. I mean, well, eventually could we..." She struggled for the right words. She gave up and let her eyes say what her mouth refused to. "Oh," he said. "Do you think you can?" She nodded. "As long as you're with me."

He was quiet for a moment. "Okay. If you're sure." _You can't just go wandering off with her! She's fragile! _

_She's stronger than she knows. How is she gonna find the strength she needs to finally move beyond her experiences once and for all if I don't help her fly again?_

They had spent little money during their time there, buying only the bare essentials, which came in handy a few days later when they left. Counting their savings Jack discovered they had enough to get them to California-the sun and the warmth would do her good, he'd decided, and it didn't hurt that they'd once dreamed of going there together-and maybe even keep their heads above water for a few days while he figured out how to support them.

It was lucky-or perhaps the hand of fate intervening-they left when they did. They set out around dawn, hours before the arrival of the day's mail, which included a draft notice for Jack.


	17. Chapter 17

_Two Months Later_

_August 1917_

Rose watched the waves rushing toward the shore. The warm water washed over her bare feet. She sighed contentedly and dug her toes into the hot sand. The sun's rays beat fiercely down on her, turning her naturally fair skin a light pink. "You might wanna get out of the sun," Jack said quietly. He stood just inches behind her, close enough to pull her into an embrace. But he didn't. Despite her insistence that it really was alright to touch her, that he had to touch her if she were ever to truly become "herself" again, he couldn't bring himself to do so unless she verbally said he could. It wasn't fear that stopped him. It was respect. From what he's seen, no-one else had ever respected or even acknowledged her right to say no. To anything. And he needed her to know he did.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, letting the sun's rays fall on her face. "In a minute. I don't care if I burn." He smiled. _That's what I've been trying to help you do again...figuratively speaking. _"Okay, but it's gonna hurt later if you burn too much," he warned. She reached behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. "I won't burn too much."

They'd ended up in Monterey and quickly settled into a small bungalow just off the beach. Rose had wanted to be near the water. She loved the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. Jack had been more than happy to grant her wish. He loved seeing the light that came into her eyes when they walked down the beach in the evenings. He didn't delude himself into thinking she had been magically healed overnight. _But she's come so far..._

He had little trouble finding a job. There were plenty of employment oppourtunities on the docks, and a few people remembered him from his squid boat days. The eight hours he spent working during each weekday always went by in a blur. He did his job well enough, but there was a slightly mechanical air about him. It was as though "Jack" were gone and all that remained was a hollow shell controlled by an invisible puppet master.

His mind was with her. He could think of nothing else from the time he kissed her good-bye in the morning until the time he kissed her hello in the evening. _Is she alright?_ he'd wonder_. Is she happy?_ He rarely bothered to eat lunch. He didn't want to spend what little money they had on himself, and he hated the thought of going home to her only to leave again a few mintues later. He'd tried a few times. It hadn't gone well.

"Jack, I'll be fine," she'd insisted. "Really. I can handle this." He'd hugged her tightly. "Are you sure?"She nodded. "You can't just stay here and hold my hand forever-as much as I'd like that." "Why not?" he'd asked, though he knew exactly why not.

That had been his third try. The first two times he hadn't been able to bring himself to leave. She said she would be fine-_She said she'd be fine in the gym too_, he'd reminded himself-but there was a part of him that couldn't bear the thought of leaving her and coming back to discover she'd been wrong.

_You have to give her more credit. _

_I'm trying. It's just...after everything...I just want to protect her, okay?_

At first Rose really wasn't fine without him there. She never told had done too much for her already, and he worried himself sick about her._ I'm not making it any worse. He doesn't deserve that. _But gradually she'd grown more comfortable by herself. She didn't like it, but she could bear it. _And that's better than nothing._

As she learned how to feel safe on her own she also learned how to do simple household tasks. Her first attempts at preparing food were disastrous-though Jack refused to say so. He'd eaten her foul tasting creations and encouraged her to keep trying. Fortunately she began to improve before he had to stomach too many of her culinary failures. She'd never known how much work went into keeping a house clean, and their three rooms exhausted her. _I don't know how people do it._ But she kept at it. _I'm keeping Jack's house and cooking his meals._ A delicious warmth spread through her everytime the thought crossed her mind.

And now here they were, two months after setting out, watching the tide come in, neither able to believe their good fortune. "I love you," Rose said softly. She let her body collapse against his. He tightened his embrace. "I love you too."

Their life wasn't perfect, but things were better than they had ever been. There were days when they almost forgot everything that had happened.

Which is why Jack's shock at walking in the next afternoon to find Rose curled up on the floor, her eyes glassy, a small piece of paper clutched in her hand, was all the more soul-shattering.


	18. Chapter 18

"Rose!" he screamed, running to her. He dropped onto his knees and scooped her into his arms. He hugged her tightly. "Rose, Rose, Rose," he chanted, rocking back and forth. She clutched him as though someone were trying to drag him away. "What happened?" he asked. She didn't respond. She just buried her face in his chest and began to sob quietly. "Rose, please," he begged. "You have to tell me." Tears sprang into his eyes. _I knew I should have never left her. _"Rose, listen to me." He tried to keep his voice steady. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. I'll make it okay."

"You can't do anything about this." Her voice was barely audible. She began to tremble. "There's nothing-" Her voice broke as her crying grew louder. Jack gently tilted her head back. Hot, fat tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "Don't talk like that," he said. "Remember your promise? We can't give up. There's nothing we can't make it through."

She held up the slip of paper. "Sure about that?"

He took a deep breath and willed his hands to remain steady as he took the paper. He had to read it four times before the meaning of the words sank in. _Draft Registration Notice._ He'd known America had gotten into the war in Europe, but it wasn't something he thought about. It had seemed so far away. He'd never imagined it could touch them.

_I was wrong. _

He crumpled the paper and tossed it aside. "That's what you're so upset about?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light. Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Don't you realize what this means?" she cried. She took his face in her hands. "You'll leave me. You'll leave, and you won't come back." She pulled his head down and kissed him as hard as she could. His mouth tasted like tears when she finally released him.

Tightening his grip on her, he carefully climbed to his feet. "It'll be okay," he whispered soothingly as he carried her to their bed. "Sshh.." He stroked her face. "Don't worry Rose. I'll make it okay." Her tears eventually lessened and then finally stopped altogether. Her body was tense in his arms long after she fell into a fitful sleep.

_Didn't anyone ever tell you not to make promises you can't keep? You really think you can just make this go away?_

_I can make it okay. I can make things okay for her. _

_Uh-huh. Right. And how you figurin on doing that? You can't just ignore something like this. Eventually they'll notice and come find you. What'll happen to her then?_

_Yeah, maybe, but what'll happen to her if I do this and end up dodging bullets in Europe? What'll happen if I don't make it back? What will she do then?_

Jack saw it all as though it had already happened. All the progress Rose had made erased in an instant. He saw her curled up on the floor, staring at nothing, completely alone in the world. She'd stop eating. She'd stop taking care of herself at all. _She promised you she'd never give up,_ the optimistic part of his mind pointed out. _You don't know it'll be that bad. _

Had things been different he could have believed that. He could have trusted that she would find a way to go on without him, but.._I can't take that kind of chance with her life. She's suffered enough-more than she ever should have. I won't let her go back to the way she was. What happens if someone else finds her? Where will she end up then? _

Jack sighed. "I'm not leaving you," he whispered, kissing her head. "I'll never leave you."

_The U.S. government might see things differently. _

"It's a big country. We're just two small people. And you can't see what isn't there."


	19. Chapter 19

AN: Thanks for all the kind reviews! It's good to know the story isn't a disappointment.

"Jack!" Rose gasped as she woke up. Breathing heavily, she looked around. It was dark, and she couldn't remember even going to bed but that didn't matter. She was in her own bed, wrapped in Jack's strong embrace. He was sleeping beside her, his head resting against her shoulder, his mouth a tense line. Her heartbeat began to return to normal. _It was just a dream. He's fine. He didn't go anywhere. _And then it all came rushing back. "No!" she cried.

Jack's eyes flew open. "It's okay," he said quickly. He touched her face. "Everything's okay, Rose."

"No, it isn't." Her voice held a hint of panic. "You're—"

"Not going anywhere," he said firmly. "Not unless you go with me."

"How can you not? They'll make you." She clutched his shirt. "They'll take you away from me. I knew this would happen."

"Rose, please, trust me. I am not leaving you." He kissed her, a gentle, reassuring kiss. "Please don't be afraid. It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna make it okay."

"How?" She sounded small.

"I have an idea. I haven't quite figured out all the details yet, but I think it'll work. Don't worry. Just trust me. Have I ever let you down before?"

She shook her head. "Never."

"And I won't now."

He knew what he was planning to do was illegal and dangerous, but he didn't care. He knew what could happen if they were caught, but he didn't care about that either. _She needs me more than they ever could. _

Rose did her best to stay calm as he prepared to leave the next morning. _He's coming back, _she told herself. _He wouldn't leave you. _But when Jack looked into her eyes, all he could see was himself reflected in green pools of fear. "I'm coming back," he said, hugging her tightly. "I promise. I don't wanna go, but I have to. We need all the money we can get right now." She nodded. "I know. I'm just being hysterical."

"You're not," he assured her. "I understand why you're scared, but you have nothing to worry about. Not from me, not ever."

"I know." She kissed him, a quick, hard kiss, and stepped out of his embrace. "Go. I'll be fine. Just go."

After he left she sank into the nearest chair. Her forehead rested on her palms. "Why? Why now? Things were so…." _Good? Don't you mean "too good"?_

Sensing the course her thoughts were threatening to take, Rose stood up and pushed everything not connected with her daily routine out of her mind. There was nothing she could do, and she was just going to have to accept it. "Torturing myself will only make me crazier, and Jack doesn't deserve that."

Jack was also doing his best to keep from torturing himself. He pushed away any thought that could lead back to Rose—which was pretty much all of them. "If I think about her I won't be able to keep going. And I have to. I can't do this without money." It wouldn't be much, what he'd get for the week, but it would be better than nothing. _If only there was some way I could get a lot of money fast…_

He stopped walking. Through the window on his left he could see a group of men sitting around a table. Playing cards. "Well, it won me the ticket to Rose."

Getting a place in the game was easy. He had a way with people—a way of creating an instant bond out of nothing, or at least seeming to—and he looked younger than he was, which worked in his favor. None of them said it, but he could tell they were doubtful about his abilities. For the first hour or so he did nothing to prove them wrong. In fact, he went out of his way to play terribly, losing everything he had. The pile of money up for grabs continued to grow until it was bigger than any he had ever seen before.

And that's when he stopped pretending and started playing.


	20. Chapter 20

It had been a long, intense game, but it was finally about to come to an end. Jack watched anxiously as one by one the other players folded until only it was just him and one other man left. They eyed each other over their cards. Jack's palms began to sweat. If he lost this hand he lost everything, but if he won...For the first time since he'd sat down doubts began to creep in. _What was I thinking, gambling our future like this? What's gonna happen if I lose? How am I gonna take care of Rose then?_ He took a deep breath. _Can't do anything about it now. _He watched as the other player laid down his cards and leaned forward on his elbows, almost daring Jack to challenge him.

"I don't know how I'm gonna tell my wife," Jack said quietly. His opponent smiled triumphantly and reached for the money. "That I won this much!" he yelled, throwing down his cards. He jumped to his feet his feet, crowing happily. The others glared at him as he gathered the money and stuffed it into his pockets. "You don't know how much you've helped me," he said.

Rose was sitting on the front steps when he returned home. She was hugging her legs, and her chin rested on her knees. "You okay?" Jack asked, sitting down beside her. "I'm fine," she said distantly. "Watching the ocean."

He moved closer to her. "Sure you're okay?" She turned and looked at him. His blue eyes were full of concern. "I'm sure," she said, breaking into a smile. "You just caught me during my "staring at the ocean daze"."_ That's not a total lie. I'm better than I was yesterday, but I'm still fighting back terror-though I wouldn't tell you that. You've dealt with enough of my problems as it is. _"Aren't you home early? Very early?" she asked, eager to change the subject.

"That's not important. What is important is that I found a way to make my plan work."

Her face lit up. "You did?"

"Sure did." He stood up and offered her his hand. "Come inside, and I'll explain everything."

As Jack laid out his plan for escaping conscription, Rose teetered between terror and elation. She knew she couldn't survive losing him a second time, but-_What if something goes wrong, and I lose him anyway? He's only going to take this risk because of me. _"Jack, are you sure? Are you really sure this is what you want to do?"

"I'm not leaving you alone. Not again." he said firmly. "I know there's a certain level of risk involved, but I don't care. You need me. That's all that matters."

"But Jack you've already given up so much because of me!" she protested. "And as much as I can't stand the thought of being without you-as sure as I am that I just don't have the strength left to make it without you-"

"I haven't given up anything. You are _everything._"

"When do we leave?" she asked, defeated.


	21. Chapter 21

They left that afternoon. The rent was paid through the rest of the month, so they didn't feel guilty about just leaving without warning. They gathered their few possessions, bought some supplies, and caught the next train out of the didn't care where it was going, just as long as it was far away. Rose breathed a heavy sigh relief when the train began to move. "It's okay," Jack said, taking her hand. "Everything's gonna be alright. Trust me."

"I trust you."

Their journey took two days, and at the end of it they found themselves in Portland, Oregon. They stepped off the train and into a crowded, bustling station. Rose clung to Jack, frightened by the crowd. He kissed her hair. "Don't worry. I'm here." _I won't let her go back to the way she was. She's doing so well. I'm not letting her lose that. _Once they were out of the station and on the street, she relaxed a little, much to Jack's relief.

His years as an almost constant traveler had desensitized him to the feelings of intimidation and confusion that often accompany arriving in a completely unfamiliar place, and he had never been more grateful for that. The last he wanted was for them to stand out in any way, though he knew that thanks to Rose's hair they were likely to attract attention no matter what they did. Not only was she impossible to lose in a crowd, but most of her education had consisted of lessons in how to _stand out_ as much as possible in a crowd. She was a very beautiful woman, and there wasn't much else for a beautiful, upper class woman to do besides be admired. Well aware of her conspicuousness, Rose stared straight ahead as they walked, hoping that as long as she didn't look at anyone somehow they wouldn't look at her.

They arrived just after noon, which gave them plenty of time to find a place to stay for the night, but Jack wasn't taking any chances. He wasted no time in securing them a small room at an inexpensive boarding house, paying for it through the next week. Things went smoothly until the woman asked for his name. It was on the tip of his tongue to say his real name when he remembered he couldn't use it. "Kurt," he heard himself saying. "Kurt DeRossi." _Please don't look confused Rose._He needn't have worried. She may not have known how to disappear into a crowd, but she was an expert at hiding her emotions. She smiled politely at the woman and followed Jack up the stairs.

Safely alone in their room, a locked door between them and the outside world, neither of them were sure what to do. Rose's eyes were heavy with exhaustion as she sank into their one chair. Jack stood near the window, their bags next to his feet. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you before that we'd have to use different names," he said.

"It's alright. I realized what you were doing the moment after you did it." She smiled. Her eyes were half closed. "How did you choose the name?"

"I used my father's name and Fabrizo's last name." His eyes clouded. "I'm not sure why. I don't think they'd mind though."

Rose walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I'm sure they wouldn't." He covered her hands with his. "You miss them, don't you?" she asked gently. He nodded. "I miss all of them." He slipped an arm free and hugged her to him. "But I have you. And you can't even imagine how important that is to me." "I think I can," she said softly. "What I can't imagine is how I got so lucky." "Luck had nothing to do with it," he said. "We were meant to be together, and nothing's ever gonna take us away from each other again."


	22. Chapter 22

_They'd found them. He didn't know how they'd done it, but they had. "Run!" he yelled, grabbing Rose's hand. Her grip on him was almost bonecrushing as he pulled her forward. "C'mon honey," he yelled encouragingly, quickening their pace. Her breath was coming in strangled gasps, but she was keeping up with him. Jack ventured a glance over his shoulder. They were gaining on them. "Just a little faster Rose. We can do it." "I can't Jack.." Her voice was a hoarse whisper. "Yes you can!" He turned to look at her, but she wasn't there. She was standing what looked like miles behind him. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Jack!" she cried sorrowfully. "I'm here! Come to me!" He tried to stop but couldn't. Someone had him by the arms and was puilling him forward. He dug his heels into the ground. "Rose!" He summoned all his strength and twisted his body from side to side, hoping to catch them unawares and break free. It didn't work. He lost his balance and his feet flew out from under him. Now he was being dragged. "Jack!" "Rose!" She was getting smaller and smaller. A crowd had formed around her. The people were moving toward her, encircling her, swallowing her..._

"Jack! Jack!" Rose shook his shoulders. "Jack!"'

"Rose!" His eyes flew open. He jumped up and grabbed her by the arms. "Rose!_" _His body was trembling, his breathing heavy. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead. "Rose," he said again, softly this time. "I'm here," she said gently. She wrapped her arms around him and laid his head against her breasts. "I'm right here," she repeated, her cheek against his damp hair. "It's okay." His arms encircled her. "You're here," he said, sounding dazed and lost. "I didn't lose you. They didn't take me away from you." She slowly rocked him back and forth. "You're not going anywhere. Not unless I go with you."She pressed her lips to his forehead. "Don't worry Jack. We'll be fine."

The shaking subsided as his breathing began to return to normal. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. He lifted his head. "Did I scare you?"She stroked his hair. "No." "I don't know what happened," he continued. "It's all so blurred...I remember screaming your name, and then you were holding me..."

"You were having a nightmare."

"Yeah...that's what it was," he said, the memory taking shape in his mind. "We were running, but something happened. You weren't with me anymore. They were taking me away...you were calling for me, but I couldn't get back to you. I tried, but..."

"It's okay," she said, pressing his face against her neck. "It wasn't real. No-one's taking you anywhere. You're staying right here with me."

He pulled his head away. "I sound pretty stupid don't I? Getting this upset over a nightmare?"

"Did you forget how upset I used to be after a nightmare?"

"That was different. You were-"

"Scared. Just like you were."

_I'm not supposed to get scared. _"I shoulda handled it better. I-"

"Should have what? Comforted _yourself_?" Disbelief shone in her eyes. "Jack, there's no way all of this hasn't affected you. It's okay to admit if you're worried or scared. I am," she added, smiling weakly. She was trying to be reassuring, but the gesture actually just intensified his disugst with himself. "It doesn't matter how I feel," he said. "You're what matters."

_Oh God what have I done to him? How could I have been so selfish? All I do is take from him. _"We _both_ matter," she insisted. "I may not have shown it the way I should, but how you feel matters just as much as how I feel. Jack, I'm sorry. I've been so selfish. I didn't-"

"Don't say that. It isn't true." He touched her face. "I _chose _to put your feelings ahead of my own. You needed me so much. All I cared about-all I still care about-is making sure you know you're safe and loved."

Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. "You don't have to worry about that anymore because I know. You don't have to pretend you aren't scared if you are. You don't have to think I'll lose faith in you, or that I'll go back to being the babbling mess I was when you found me. I don't need you to be invulnerable. I just need you with me. And I need you to let _me_ be strong for _you._"

"I'm just so scared something's gonna happen," he whispered. "I'm scared they'll take me away from you, and of what'll happen to you without me around to protect you."

She wished she could tell him he didn't need to be afraid. _But how can I? I know what will happen if he leaves me. I barely made it without him the first time. I can't do it again. _"Don't worry about that right now," she said soothingly. She brushed the hair out of his eyes. "They're not going to find us because there won't be anything for them to find. When you don't show up next week, and they start looking for you all they'll find is the empty apartment we left behind. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jack and Rose Dawson disappeared one day and were never seen again."

Jack silently laid his head against her chest. She hugged him tightly and lowered their bodies back onto the bed. "It'll all be okay," she said, gently stroking his face. "You'll see." He just nodded and closed his eyes, pushing everything out of his mind except the sound of her heartbeat and the way her fingertips felt on his cheek.

They didn't talk about it the next morning. There was no need to. When they looked into each other's eyes they knew something had changed, though neither of them could have said what it was. Something in their relationship had shifted. Something in _Jack_ had shifted. He moved with a newfound lightness. A lightness that Rose was ashamed to realize she hadn't noticed he'd been missing. _You have to pay more attention to him! It isn't all about you! Have you even thought about how he's been feeling? Before last night, that is?_

_I will. I know how terribly I've behaved, but I'll be better,_ she promised herself. _I'll be better the wife he deserves. _

"I think we should keep moving," he said, as they made a small breakfast out of the last of the food they'd brought with them. "If we stay in one place too long people'll start askin questions." She nodded. "I think we should use different names in each place," she said.

"You're right." He smiled. "I was just about to say that." She reached across the table and took hs hand. "We can do this. We'll get through this," she said, lacing her fingers through his. "Together."


	23. Chapter 23

_Monterey, California_

_The following Monday_

_9:30 AM. _

"Dawson, Jack." The cry came from a Department of Defense employee by the name of Anthony Morris. After a few seconds passed and no-one responded, he looked up from the open file in front of him. "Dawson?" he called again. The men in line all shrugged. "You," he said, pointing to the first man in line. "What's your name?"

"Day, sir," the young man said nervously. "Steven Day."

"Uh-huh." Anthony checked the next file in his stack. It was Steven Day's. "Hmm...Can't wait forever." He moved Jack's file to the bottom of the stack. "Step forward, please."

The rest of the morning went by smoothly. All of the other names he called were met with a response, and soon Anthony completely forgot about the missing draftee. Jack's file was buried in a stack that was at least a foot high, and buried it might have remained forever had the man who took over the afternoon shift not been a desperate to get ahead overachiever. After he stumbled upon Jack's file Ryan Smith wasted no time before informing his bosses about the draftee who failed to show up for registration. He also made sure they were aware of the fact that he had failed to show up the first time he had been summoned, stressing the fact that he "fled" the state where he had been living for almost two years the very day his draft notice arrived.

The higher-ups at the Department of Defense didn't care very much that one man hadn't shown up to be drafted. They had bigger problems on their hands, and as far as they were concerned one man wasn't going to determine whether they won or lost the war. But Ryan refused to let the matter rest. Over the next week he badgered them endlessly. "If word got out it would start a chain reaction," he insisted. "How many men would just choose not to show up if they knew nothing would be done to them?" Although they thought he was being a bit dramatic, they saw his point. Disregard for the draft was not something they wanted to take root in the minds of American men. "Fine," they said. "Go see if you can find this Dawson."

All but rubbing his hands together with glee Ryan set out, a slip of paper with Jack's address printed on it tucked carefully in his pocket. And just as Rose predicted, all he found was an empty apartment. "I knew it," he said, peering through the small kitchen window. "It was no coincidence that he moved so suddenly last month."

Ryan's dream had always been to be a brilliant detective, but his attempts to become a police officer had all been failures. He just lacked a certain _something_, though no-one seemed to be able to tell him what that something was. So he fell back on his second dream: working for the federal government. He landed a low-level position in the Department of Defense, which he quickly learned was actually the least exciting and most stressful Department of them all. He'd considered quitting, but held on in the hope that something exciting would eventually come along. As he hurried to the train station-having taking it upon himself to investigate what he was referring to in his head as "The Dawson Disappearance"-sure he would find someone who remembered seeing two people matching the description of Jack and Rose he'd gotten from their neighbor, he couldn't help but smile. Something exciting had finally happened.

At the same moment that he was discovering that two people who looked very much like the missing Dawson couple had boarded a train bound for Portland, Oregon two weeks earlier and mentally calculating the cost of a ticket on the next train leaving for Oregon, Jack and Rose were stepping off a train in Piedmont, North Dakota.

"So, who shall we be here?" Rose asked cheerfully. Jack considered the question for a moment. "I've always liked the name Heathcliff," he said finally. Rose giggled. "Heathcliff? That's the name you choose for yourself?"

"What's wrong with it?" he said defensively. "I like the character." She raised an eyebrow. "Didn't he drive the woman he loved to her death."

"That wasn't his fault. That was the fault of all the people who convinced her she should marry Linton because Heathcliff wasn't good enough."

"I never thought about it that way," Rose said pensively. "That's not how I saw him at all. I never had much sympathy for anyone but Linton."

"You had sympathy for Linton?" He sounded slightly shocked.

"Why not? He wasn't a bad person. It wasn't his fault she only married him out of spite, and until Heathcliff came back he and Cathy were actually kind of happy together."

"Ah, but she was using him."

"I don't think it was using. I think it was making the best of the situation, and it though wasn't the 'right' thing to do she wasn't the sort of person to care one way or the other. Basically, all I'm saying is Linton is the only one who seemed like he tried to be a genuinely good person."

"Well, I'm not sayin Heathcliff handled his situation very well, but I can see how he ended up being the person he was. I mean, think about it, he's desperately in love with this girl, but she'd rather marry the rich neighbor because marrying him would just be too embarrassing. _And_ he had to hear her say it. Now, _I _would never react like that because it just isn't in my nature, I'd have to be a completely different person, but I can see how, given the situation he'd grown up in, he felt he had to do the things he did. I'm not saying I approve, just that I can see his perspective. "

"But he didn't hear what she said next," Rose pointed out. "About how her love for him would never compare to her love for Linton."

"True. But that doesn't exactly make up for saying it would degrade her to marry him. It doesn't justify a twenty-somethin year quest for revenge or anything, but I bet it hurt like hell when he heard her say that. I don't even want to know what it woulda felt like if you'd said that to me. But I wouldn't of ever hurt you," he added. "No matter what."

She squeezed his hand. "I would have never said that."

"Well, you couldn't admit it now," he joked. "You're already married to me."

She brought their clasped hands up to her lips. "And it's an honor to be married to you," she said. He smiled as she kissed their interlaced fingers. "Being married to you isn't so bad either," he said.

"Even after everything I've put you through?"

"Nothing I can't handle. Besides, we're putting all that behind us. The past isn't gonna control us anymore."

"No, it isn't," she said solemnly. "And it couldn't find us anyway," she added, her eyes brightening. "Because it would be looking for people who don't exist anymore. Isn't that right, Heathcliff?"

"Yes, it is Cathy."

She shook her head. "No, she made the wrong choice. Let's think of another one."

"Okay."

And so they walked the streets of their temporary new home, trying on new identities as they went, never once suspecting that the past might have other plans for them.


	24. Chapter 24

They kept moving. Even though neither of them had seen any signs that they were being pursued they didn't feel comfortable staying anywhere longer than a week. They did their best to be inconspicuous. The goal was to just blend into the crowd and be forgotten the moment they were no longer in sight. To help decrease their chances of being remembered or recognized, Rose took to wearing a hat whenever they were outside.

The first time she did it Jack was more than a little confused. "Are you wearing a hat?" he asked, staring at the blue bits of cloth where her flaming curls normally were. She chuckled. "I've been told that's what they call it."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Very clever Mrs. Dawson." Rose covered his mouth with her hand. "You can't say that!" she hissed fearfully. "What if someone were to hear?" Guilt washed over him. What if someone had heard? What if—_I hate this!_ he thought. _We're finally together. She's finally becoming herself again, and we can't even say our real names out loud because there's a chance someone's listening. _He knew he'd chosen to run away. Chosen to "evade his duty" as Ryan, the man who at that moment was sitting, frustrated, behind his usual desk in Monterey, called back home after he'd failed to find any sign of them in Portland, would have said. But that didn't change how he felt.

_I had to do it. If I'd left her…_He pushed the thought away. The "ifs" didn't matter. He and Rose were together, and despite the precariousness of their situation she was, well, blossoming was the best word he could think of to describe it. Her eyes hadn't completely lost the haunted look they'd had when he'd first found her, but there was a lightness in them he hadn't seen in years. She wasn't afraid when he left the room or even when he went out by himself as long as he wasn't gone too long. Her nightmares had stopped completely. He still wouldn't touch her unless she said he could though.

"I'm sorry," he said. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "I wasn't thinking. I just love how it sounds. Forgive me?" She smiled and moved closer to him. "I love how it sounds too," she said softly, slipping her arms around his neck. "You do?" he teased as she brought her lips up to his. She nodded. "Uh-huh." His hands found the small of her back as their lips met. "People are definitely gonna stare at us," he said out of the corner of his mouth. "Then we should take this somewhere else," she said.

Jack's hands were shaking so badly he could barely unlock the door. Rose's arms were wrapped around his middle. At some point she had unbutton his shirt enough to slip a hand in. "Having trouble?" she whispered. He shuddered as her cool breath blew against his neck. "You wouldn't happen to know any thing about that, would ya?" he asked hoarsely as the door finally swung open. They stumbled inside. Rose kicked the door closed behind them.

Jack wrapped his arms around her. "You sure?" he asked, pressing his forehead to hers. She smiled up at him. "Do I seem unsure, Mr. Dawson?"

He kissed her gently. "I have to ask….Mrs. Dawson."

Rose hugged him tightly and pressed her lips to his hair. "I love you." He smiled into her neck. "I love you too." He closed his eyes as she began running her fingers through his hair. "I love you so much."

"Jack?" Someone else might not have heard her so spoke so softly, but Jack's ears were especially sensitive where her voice was concerned. His eyes immediately flew open. "You okay?" He shot up. "Is it a nightmare—"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm fine, Jack." She pulled him back down. "I shouldn't have scared you like that. You were sleeping."

"It doesn't matter." He tilted his head up and smiled. "As long as you're okay." She cradled his head in her arms. "I've never been better."

"You mean that? Even though we're pretty much fugitives now, and we'll probably never be able to live a normal life in this country again?" _Even though for the rest of our lives I probably won't be able to introduce you to anyone as my beautiful wife Rose Dawson?_ he thought with a pang.

"I don't care about that. I don't even care that you can only call me Mrs. Dawson when we're alone," she said. "All that matters is that you're with me." She kissed him. "I can't live without you, Jack."

He wrapped his arms around her. "You'll never have to again. I don't care what it takes."

Gradually summer began to give way to autumn, and before they knew it the leaves were starting to resemble Rose's curls. Around the middle of October they found themselves in a small town in Alabama. "I've never been this far south before," Rose said excitedly as they strolled down the town's main street. "Really?" Jack said sounding surprised.

"Besides that trip to Europe with my mother and Cal—" Jack's mouth twisted slightly. "—He's not here," she said, squeezing his arm. "And it's a good thing," he said, an edge in his voice. "Because if he was—"

"Hey." Rose brought them to a stop and took his face in her hands. "Don't talk like that," she said firmly. "What happened in the past is over." He turned away from her. "Jack, look at me." He met her eyes. "I know it's over." He pointed to his head. "Here." He laid her hand against his heart. "But here? I just wanna kill him. After everything he did to you—"

"It wouldn't change anything," she said quietly. "It wouldn't take it all away."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed heavily. "I can't help but think sometimes that if he hadn't done that to you then you wouldn't have ended up—" She silenced him with a kiss. "What happened happened, Jack. And as much as I wish it hadn't, there's nothing either of us can do about it."

"You're so strong," he whispered.

She laughed quietly. "I'm not that strong. I wouldn't have been a raving mess when you found me if I was. I wouldn't have made you give up your life to stay with me."

"You didn't make me do anything. I chose take you and run. I knew what could happen if I did, and I didn't care. I still don't care. All I want is to be with you. To protect you, to make sure you have the happiness you were supposed to have all along," he said stroking her cheek with his thumb. "And if you weren't strong," he added, "you wouldn't have been able to come back from where you were."

"_You_ did that. I doubt I would have even made it much longer if you hadn't found me."

The thought of Rose dying alone somewhere on the streets made him feel sick. "Don't say that. I did find you, that's all that matters. You're safe. You'll always be safe."

They would have gazed at each other for the rest of the day had a few of the stares they were receiving begun to be accompanied by whispers. "We should keep going," Rose said. He nodded. "So much for that whole 'Don't draw attention to ourselves rule'," he said with a grin.

"What were you about to say?" he asked a few minutes later. "Before. When you mentioned him." He all but spat the last word.

"Oh, I was just saying that other than that trip to Europe I'd never left Pennsylvania."

His eyes widened. "You hadn't?"

She shook her head. "Not once."

"Huh. I always thought rich people were the ones who did all the traveling."

"Well, my mother and father did travel a lot. They just never took me with them."

Suddenly, for one of the first times in years, Jack thought of his own parents. _They would have never gone anywhere without me._ He'd made peace with their deaths. It had taken a long time, but he'd done it. It had been years since thinking of them had brought anything but happy memories, but now it was as though it was happening all over again.

"Jack, are you alright?" Rose asked, her voice thick with concern. He blinked away the tears that formed in the corners of his eyes. "I'm fine," he said with his usual grin. "How do you feel about going north again eventually?"

"I don't mind," she said slowly. "Are you sure you're alright?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. Just thought of somewhere I'd like to show you, that's all."

Jack knew it would be risky. After all, it was the only place in the whole country where anyone had known him for more than a few weeks at a time which greatly increased the chances of someone realizing who he was no matter what name he might give them. But for some reason he didn't care. He wanted to go home, even if it was just for a few hours.


	25. Chapter 25

No matter how many times she asked Jack never told Rose where he planned to take her. He just said he hoped she'd love it. "Well, when are we going?" she asked one afternoon. They were sitting in the park of the latest town they'd landed in, sharing a sandwich. Jack's portfolio was blanaced on his knees. He brushed breadcrumbs off of it. "Well, it's not possible to get a direct train to it," he said. "At least not until we get farther north."

"How much further?" she asked.

"At least a few more states," he answered. "But we'll need more money before we head out again." He'd stretched his poker winnings and their meager savings as far as he could, but that morning while Rose slept he'd counted out what they had left. It was just enough to keep them fed and lodged for a few more days. "You could feed me less," Rose offered, seeing the worried look in his eyes. "If that would help." He stared at her. "Are you crazy?" He handed her what was left of his half of the sandwich. "If anyone's going without it's me."

"I've gone without food before," she pointed out. She took a bite of the sandwich and handed it back to him. "I could do it again if I had to." "Not with me you're not," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I'll get us the money we need. Don't worry about it." He took a bite and handed it back to her. They passed the hunk of sandwich back and forth until there was nothing left.

Rose shivered and snuggled up against him. "It's getting cold." She pressed her face into his chest. Even through his shirt she could feel the warmth radiating off his body. "We should go inside," he said. "You don't have a coat." She uncurled her body and stood up. "Neither do you." He took her outstretched hand and stood up, making sure to grab his portfolio before it fell to the ground. "I'll make it."

"I don't want you to just make it," Rose said as they began the walk back to their room. "I know you can survive. We both can." She gazed up at him. "Either we're cold together or we're warm together, Jack."

"Those my only options?" he said lightly. She nodded. "What was that thing you said?" She feigned confusion. "About how if I did something you had to do it too? Oh, what was it?" He rolled his eyes but there was a grin on his face. "Point taken," he said.

Early the next morning Jack slipped out of their room while Rose was still sleeping. He left a note for her on the table by the bed, though he hoped to be back before she woke up. He hated the thought of her waking up alone and afraid, but he knew she would insist on going with him. He shoved his hands in his pockets to protect them from the chill morning air. "It wouldn't be safe to take her," he said to himself.


	26. Chapter 26

Jack ducked into the doorway of the small rooming house where they were staying. He flattened himself against the wall and willed his breathing to slow down. _They aren't following you anymore. Just go upstairs, get Rose, and get the hell away from this town. _

"Rose honey, I need you to wake up," Jack said, his voice thick with urgency. He laid a hand on Rose's shoulder. Her body tensed and her breathing quickened. Had he been calmer Jack would have noticed her movements were not the usual stirrings of a person waking up. She was trying to roll her body away from his touch. "Rose, please," he said, shaking her gently. "We don't have much time—" "No!" she cried, covering her face with her hands.

"Rose?" He slipped an arm underneath her and pulled her up. "Rose, what's wrong?" He took one of her hands in his and gently removed it from her face. She twisted her head away from him and squeezed her eyes shut. "Let me go," she whimpered. "Please." The terror in her voice scared him more than the enraged group of men he's spent the last twenty minutes trying to evade. "Rose!" he cried. She flinched. Guilt washed over him. "It's me. You don't have anything to be scared of, honey," he said softly. He uncovered the other half of her face. "Look at me, please."

Rose's heart raced as she slowly opened her eyes. "I don't know why," she said, her voice trembling, "I don't know why I didn't realize it was you." Jack wrapped his arms around her. "I shouldn'tve surprised you like that," he said. "I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair. "I'm so sorry, Rose. I never meant to scare you." _But you did. _He hugged her tighter. _She'll be fine. She knows I'd never hurt her. _

_Does she?_

Rose's voice silenced his doubts. "It's okay," she said calmly. She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "I should have known it was you, that it was your voice…I guess it's because I was sleeping and then suddenly there you were…I just panicked."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing a few stray curls away from her face. "I'll never do anything like that to you again, I promise." She smiled weakly. "I'm still more afraid than I realized," she said, "but it's good that I know because now I can deal with it."

"You amaze me. Really you do." Jack was on the verge of becoming lost in her eyes when he remembered why he'd been so desperate to wake her up. "Rose, we have to go," he said, doing his best to seem as calm as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her even more. "Now?" she asked. "Why?"

"I can't explain it right now," he said. "We just need to hurry, okay?" She nodded. "Okay. Just let me get dressed."

Jack's heart was still pounding in his chest even after their train pulled out of the station. His cheek was pressed against the cold glass as he watched the countryside whiz by. _If I'd had more patience,_ he thought, _none of this woulda happened. _His hand found the bulge in his coat pocket. _But I wouldn't have this. _

Rose lightly touched his arm "Jack?" He whipped his head around. "Are you alright?" he asked anxiously. "I'm fine," she said. "I was going to ask if _you_ were alright." He broke into his usual grin and took her hand. "As long as you are I am." She smiled and leaned back in her seat. "I'm fine," she repeated. Jack squeezed her hand and laid his head on her shoulder. "That's all that matters," he said. She was puzzled by his strange behavior, but she trusted him too much to be frightened by it. _At least not while fully awake, _she thought ruefully. _How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought he could possibly be anyone else—even asleep? _With a heavy sigh she pushed the nagging thoughts from her mind. Dwelling on it wouldn't change anything.

"Why did we have to leave so quickly?" she asked, blurting it out before she realized what she was saying. She felt Jack's body tense and immediately regretted asking. "It's okay," she said quickly. "You don't have to tell me."

"You deserve to know," he said. "I just hope you don't hate me when I tell you."


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: Thank you for your patience! Here it is at long last, the chapter that explains what the hell has been going on. **

Rose's heart began to race. _It's Jack!_ she reminded herself, which was enough to stop her fear from worsening. She took a deep breath and touched his face. "You don't have to worry about that," she said firmly. "And you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He sighed and leaned into her touch. "I don't deserve you." Sensing she was about to retort he added, "I mean it. I don't. I put you in so much danger today just because I was impatient."

Her stomach twisted. She didn't know if it was fear or bile rising in her throat, but she pushed it back down._ He would never hurt you. _And she knew it was true. Jack would die before he let anything hurt her. "What happened?" Her tone startled him. She sounded so _calm._ He looked into her eyes. There was no trace of the fear or anger he had expected to see. He took a deep breath and said, "Do you remember when we talked about needing money?" She nodded. "Well, I got some…"

_Earlier that morning_

A cigarette dangled from Jack's lips as he walked into the pool hall. He kept his eyes down and ignored the curious looks he received. He took a final drag before flicking the cigarette into a nearby ashtray. The time for nervousness was over. He'd made his decision. He'd lain awake all night going over it in his mind. It was now or never. _It's for Rose. You're doing this for her. _

_Then why did you leave before she woke up? Why didn't you tell her?_

_When it's all over I'll tell her. If she knew she'd worry, and I couldn't bring her with me. _

He lingered along the wall and watched the game in progress. It was clear after only a few seconds which players were good and which players weren't. He shoved his hands in his pockets and lowered his head as one of them looked his way. Through his lashes he saw the man who had looked at him—a tall dark haired man with a mustache—nudge one of the other players, the one Jack had decided was the best player. He was a few inches taller than Jack, which he hoped would work in his favor, and well built. He towered over the other players with an air of unchecked confidence. Jack smiled to himself. _I can do this._

"Hey you," the man called. Jack lifted his head and pointed to himself. The man nodded and motioned him forward. "Yeah, you. C'mere." Jack hunched his shoulders and tried to appear shorter as he walked toward the table. "You've been watching us," the man said.

"I was just—"

"Watching. It's okay. Do you play?"

Jack shook his head. "Not really," he lied. "I mean, I have, but I'm not that good." The man glanced over at his friends. A series of shrugs and knowing grins passed through the group. He turned back to Jack. "You ever play for money?"

Jack hesitated before answering. Doubts were beginning to creep into his mind. _What if you lose?_ _What will you tell Rose? _An image of her flashed before him. Her eyes were heavy with disbelief and fear, her mouth thin and tense. "How could you do that?" she asked silently. "I trusted you." He tightened his jaw. _I won't lose. And even if I do it doesn't matter because I won't bet it all. I'll only bet just enough to keep us going for a little while longer. _

_You could've just found a job. _

He had thought about finding a job but finally dismissed the idea because he was afraid it would take too long for money to start coming in. Staying in one place for too long made them both nervous, but he only cared about keeping Rose's fear from coming back. And the more people he talked to, the more people who saw him just increased the chances if his being remembered if anyone ever showed up asking about him. In the past desperation had led him to situations much like that one, but now his desire to protect Rose was driving him as well.

_You can do this. You've done it before, and she needs you. _"How much?" he asked.

Jack more than knew what he was doing. He knew how to lose and make it look real. He knew how to fumble a shot, how to not take aim properly, and how to chew his lip and mumble curses while the others watched his losses mount their eyes filled with a blend of pity and amusement.

"Tired of losing yet?" the man asked, not entirely unkindly. Jack hung his head. "You've taken all my money," he said with a shrug. He had actually only lost half of it, but he knew better than to keep going. "But why don't you give me a chance to try and get it back?" he said.

A smile played about the other man's lips. "Get it back?" he said. "You really think you can?"

"I think I can try."

The man considered the proposition for a moment. "I'll do you one better," he said. "I'll give you the chance to triple your money." Jack hid his excitement. "How would you do that?"

"Well, if you win…"

He never imagined Jack could even come close to winning. If he had he wouldn't have made the bet. But Jack did win.

_The Present_

"He wasn't happy about it, I'm guessing," Rose said.

"That might be an understatement."

She sighed and covered her face with her hands. Jack watched her anxiously, his eyes searching for any sign of what was going through her mind. Finally she lifted her head and looked at him. "I could never hate you," she said softly. "You should know better than that."

He couldn't believe his ears. "I should have known better than to do that," he said. "I shouldn't have—"

"It doesn't matter," she sighed. "You're okay, and that's all I care about." He knew he should just let it go, but he couldn't help blurting out, "Why aren't you angry?" She gazed at him for what felt like an eternity before she finally answered. "You did what you thought was best," she said slowly, "what you thought would help us survive. And you did it because of me, because—"

"I made the choice, not you."

"I know that, but you wouldn't have had to make the choice if it wasn't for me." Her voice caught in her throat. "The only reason you're so afraid of breaking me is because I'm so afraid of it." Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'd do anything to protect you, but it isn't because I feel like I have to. I love you." He pulled her closer and pressed his lips against her forehead. "I just want a life with you. I want it so bad it hurts sometimes, and I do stupid things because I'm afraid of something happening to tear us apart again. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong. I didn't want to think about that."

Rose wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tightly. "I love you, and I trust you," she said. "And someday we'll get to create the life we dream about, but until then we have to do what we can even if it is risky. Staying with me was risky—it still is, but—" Jack cupped her face with his hand and tilted it up. "But I'm not about to leave you," he said.

They were too engrossed in each other to notice the woman staring at them, her face twisted with disgust. _So they ended up together after all,_ she thought bitterly.


	28. Chapter 28

Rose closed her eyes and blocked out everything but the sound of Jack's heart beating. His arm was draped over her shoulders, his free hand in hers. She didn't care if the other passengers were staring. All she wanted was to be close to him. Jack smiled down at her. "I love you," he whispered, laying his cheek against her hair. "I love you too," she whispered back.

Ruth watched silently. Her mouth curled with disgust at their obvious affection. Didn't they realize at least a dozen people could see them? Had he corrupted Rose so much she'd forgotten all about common decency? She hadn't thought about them in years, but at that moment all her anger and bitterness came rushing back. She hadn't bothered checking the survivor list for Rose's name. Rose hadn't gotten into a boat, that much she knew, therefore it was impossible for her to have survived. The same went for Jack. But now here they were a mere few feet away, hands all over each other just as brazen as could be. It was almost enough to turn her stomach.

Jack frowned. Something didn't feel right. It was almost as if someone were watching them. He raised his head and looked around the small train car. None of the other passengers seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention to them. _You're just paranoid,_ he told himself as his eyes swept over the long bench across from them. His heart skipped a beat as his gaze landed on Ruth. Even after almost six years he would know her anywhere.

Ruth grimaced at Jack's audacity. How dare he look directly at her? Even if she had been forced to reduce herself to his level-she was, after all, traveling in third class-that didn't grant him the right to look her in the eye. No matter what happened he would never be her equal.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked. She touched his face. "What are you looking at?" Jack tried to speak but failed to get out anything but unintelligible noises. Rose's brow wrinkled in concern. "Jack? What is it?" She turned her head and looked for whatever was holding his attention. Her jaw dropped. It couldn't be. "Is that my mother?" she whispered. He nodded. "Yeah."

Rose couldn't believe her eyes. She had never expected to see her mother again. She hadn't even given it much thought. She'd been too busy dealing with everything life had been throwing at her to wonder or even really care where her mother ended up. "She doesn't look too happy to see us," Rose said softly. She didn't know why she said it. It was just what came out when she opened her mouth. "That might be an understatement," Jack murmured.

Ruth shot them one last glare before lifting her chin and turning away. Jack pressed Rose closer to him. He knew she couldn't do anything, but seeing Ruth increased his fear that something would tear them apart. Rose laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes. The hatred in her mother's gaze was overwhelming. _It's been almost six years,_ she thought. _Has she really been hating us all this time?_

The tension in the air eventually grew so thick even the other passengers began to feel it. They didn't know why or where it came from, but a few of them suspected the young couple wrapped in each other's arms had something to do with it. Ruth kept her nose in the air and her eyes on the window. Acknowledging the tension would just add to it. _Just pretend they aren't even there,_ she told herself. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the train finally came to a stop. They were still a town away from her destination, but she got off anyway. Even standing in the dirty, crowded train station for fifteen minutes was better than remaining near them for another second.

"She left didn't she?" Rose said quietly. "Yeah she left," Jack said. "How'd you know? Your eyes are closed." She opened them and looked up at him. "I couldn't feel her hating us anymore," she said, trying to keep her tone light. He pressed his lips against her hair. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"She hates you because of me."

"I don't care. It's been six years. If she's still angry because I didn't marry Cal..." Rose shook her head sadly. "There really isn't much I can do about that is there?"

"Maybe part of it's because she thought you were dead," Jack suggested. "Maybe she's angry you never tried to find her." Rose smiled ruefully. "Even if I'd wanted to I never really had an oppourtinity."

"Well, _we _know that, but she probably doesn't."

Rose stared at him in disbelief. "You're really trying to see it from her perspective aren't you?" It didn't make sense. Her mother hadn't actively helped keep them apart, but Rose was sure she would have had she been given the chance. "Why?" Jack sighed. "I know I sound crazy. It's just that...well, she's still your mother. I know she hasn't been a great one, but..." He searched for the words to explain how he felt. "Maybe it's not the same thing," he said finally, "but I can't ever speak to my mother again and sometimes I really wish I could. I know things are bad between you two, but if there's a chance...maybe you should try is all I'm sayin."

"I didn't know you felt that way," Rose said softly. He shrugged dismissively. "It's not something I like to talk about, you know?" She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "You can talk about it if you need to." He smiled and kissed her hand. "I've pretty much made peace with it. I just don't want you to lose yours if you don't have to."

Rose considered his words as the car began to fill again. _Maybe he's right. Maybe I should-_Ruth's glare as she swept by them silenced her thoughts. It was clear just how uninterested she was in ever speaking to either of them again.


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: I am so sorry it's been so long since I updated this story! I got caught up in the others, and it's a bad excuse, but I let this one slip through the cracks. I have not abandoned it though!**

"Are you sure you won't tell me where we're going?" Rose asked. She tilted her head up and batted her eyes. "Please?" Jack shook his head. "I want it to be a surprise," he said. "But won't I find out when they announce where we are when we arrive?" she pointed out. He snapped his fingers. "Damn. I shoulda thought of that," he said. Rose crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back, a triumphant look on her face. She'd spent the last hour trying to convince Jack to tell her where they were going, but no matter what tactic she tried he refused to tell her.

Jack leaned over, bringing his mouth close to her ear. "I actually did think of that," he said softly. Her eyes widened. "So that was your plan all along-" He shook his head. "When they announce where we are," he said, a smile creeping across his face, "it won't be where we're going. It'll be the next town over." She stared at him for a moment before punching him playfully on the arm. "Why won't you tell me?" she asked with a laugh.

"Because I like to surprise you, but now I'm not so sure," he said. He laughed and rubbed his arm. "That hurt." Rose looked stricken. "Did it really?" She touched the spot where her fist landed. "I wasn't trying to-" He laid his hand on hers. "I was just joking, honey. I know you weren't really trying to hit me."

"I got a little too upset, didn't I?" she asked sheepishly. He smiled and kissed her. "No. Don't feel bad." She shook her head. "I don't know why..." He put an arm around her. "It's because of everything you've gone through," he said, pressing his cheek to hers. She sighed and leaned her body into his. "I wish I could just wake up and it would be like it never happened."

"I know you do." _I do too._ "But it doesn't work that way." He squeezed her shoulder. "I wish it did." She smiled up at him. "How did I get lucky enough to find you?" He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "We found each other." She threw an arm across his middle and laid her head on his shoulder. "We were made for each other," he said, stroking her hair with his free hand. "No matter what the world does to try and tear us apart we'll always come back together."

They settled into a comfortable silence. What else was there to say after that? Rose closed her eyes and let the sound of Jack's heart beat fill her ears. The encounter with her mother had rattled her nerves more than she cared to think about. _What encounter? She glared at you all through the state of Illinois. You never even exchanged words. _But even so it had been unsettling. Seeing her mother stirred up memories of the _Titanic_, of Cal, of losing Jack...

But it was her reaction to them that upset her the most. Despite what Jack said she couldn't quite manage to put herself in her mother's position. _What about my position?_ she thought. _What about everything that happened to me since then? _Rose knew it was childish, but she couldn't help but feel convinced that whatever hardships her mother had faced were nothing compared to her own.

_It doesn't matter,_ she told herself. _It just doesn't matter. _

"Rose honey, wake up." Jack shook her gently. "We have to get off the train." She groaned and pressed her face into his chest. "Did they say where we are?" she murmured. He chuckled. _She doesn't give up. _"They did, but you slept through it." He felt her frown. "Damn."

Rose was dimly aware of Jack's arm around her. She felt him holding her up as he led her off the train and then a few minutes later out into the street. He tucked their bags under his other arm and moved them as quickly through the pre-dawn streets as he could. Rose's eyes were only half open and she kept mumbling to herself. "I'll get you to bed," he promised. "Just a little further." She heard him, but when she tried to respond her mouth wouldn't move. _I'll tell him in a second..._

The next thing Rose knew she was sinking down into a soft, warm bed. She gave a quiet moan of pleasure as a blanket was laid over her. Jack smiled and kissed her hair. "Where're you going?" she murmured as he moved away. "I'm not goin anywhere," he said. "I'll be right back." She mumbled something indecipherable and rolled onto her side.

"See, I told you I'd be back," he whispered a moment later as he slipped into bed beside her. She smiled faintly and snuggled up to him. He threw an arm across her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jack was just drifitng off when he heard Rose say his name. Without opening his eyes he pulled her closer. "I'm here," he said.

"I just wanted to ask you something," she said.

"Anything."

"Where are we?"

He laughed loudly. "Oh Rose, oh my darling Rose!"

"I didn't think it was that funny," she said as he kissed her. But she smiled anyway. "You'll find out tomorrow," he said. "I promise."

Rose started asking again the second they sat down to breakfast. "So where are we?" She leaned forward, eager to hear his answer. "Wisconsin," he said. She sat back, a puzzled look on her face. "What's in..." Her eyes lit up. "Oh! Jack, really?" He pretended to be very interested in the tree outside the window in front of them. "Do you think that's a fig tree?" he said.

She shook her fork at him. "Don't act like we're just wandering through another random place."

"I don't even know if fig trees grow this far north," he said, ignoring her. "Jack!" she exclaimed. Startled, he turned to face her. "I'm sorry," she said, lowering her voice. "It's just...well, we're not here by chance. You planned this. For weeks you wouldn't tell me where we were going, and now that you finally have you're trying to pretend it doesn't matter."

Jack sighed. "I've been trying to tell myself it doesn't matter."

"Why? You said you made peace with-"

"I did. But what if that was because I was gone? What if I can't handle going back the way I thought I could?"

Rose reached across the table and took his hand. "You wouldn't have brought us here if you didn't know deep down that you can handle it." He stroked her palm with his thumb. "When did you get so wise?" he teased. She smiled. "I spent the last few years with you."

That afternoon they found a man willing to take them from Eau Claire to Chippewa Falls. As they bumped along in his small buggy Jack kept his head down and his hand firmly around Rose's. No-one said very much.

The sun was just showing signs of setting when they found themselves slowly walking up the town's main street. Jack stared at everything with wide eyes. "Are you alright?" Rose asked softly. He turned to her. "It's just...it's different but it's not, you know?" She nodded. "I never really thought I'd be back here," he continued. "It almost doesn't seem real."

"Do you wish we hadn't come?"

"No. No, I think it's good we did. I just think I thought it would be easier than it really is." She squeezed his hand. He smiled. "I'm glad you're here. I don't think I woulda been able to come if you weren't." Rose didn't say anything. She just returned the smile, glad, for once, to be able to support him when he needed it instead of the other way around.


	30. Chapter 30

Rose shivered and moved closer to Jack. They were sitting in the grass next to Lake Wissota. The temperature seemed to have dropped at least ten degrees since the sun had gone down an hour earlier. She suspected the water might have had something to do with it. She wasn't sure how the water would be affecting the temperature, but since the sinking she had developed a deep distrust of water that didn't come out of a tap.

He slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. "That better?"

"You didn't have to do that," she said. She put her arms through the sleeves and buttoned it in an effort to keep out the chill air. "I did if I didn't want you to be cold," he said, placing a soft kiss on her head. "And I don't."

"But now you'll be cold."

"This isn't cold."

"I realize it isn't the North Atlantic—"

"That it is not." He shuddered at the memory of the icy water. "But for here it's not cold," he said cheerfully.

"What is cold for here then?"

"I guess you'd just have to feel it, but we won't be here long enough for that."

"We could be," she said hesitantly. "If you wanted." He shook his head. "No. It's best if we don't stay long. The longer we're here the higher the risk someone might realize who I am." They had no way of knowing that the only person truly interested in tracking them down was at that moment throwing pencils at the ceiling of his office and cursing his job, his failure to fulfill his dreams of becoming a detective, and, to a lesser degree, his receding hairline.

Rose just gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. Jack smiled and put an arm around her. "The water's really beautiful in the moonlight," she said softly. He squeezed her gently. "_You're_ really beautiful in the moonlight."

"That's only because you can't see me very well."

He shook his head. "Maybe you can't see you very well, but I can see you perfectly." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I see you too," she said. She looked up at him. His blue eyes were even brighter in the moonlight than they were in the sun. They almost seemed to be glowing. There was pure love in his gaze, but that wasn't all. There was something else. Something buried too deep for her to see clearly. "Jack—" _Don't. _

"What is it?"

_Will you tell me what you're feeling? _But instead she said, "Can we go back now?'

When they got back to town Jack was relieved to see there weren't very many people out. He didn't feel like dodging anymore curious glances, or in some cases, outright stares. He told himself it was just because they were new people in a small town, but he knew that was only part of it. In the ten years since he'd left very little had actually changed about his appearance. He was taller. His hair was longer. He'd filled out more. But anyone who knew him before would still know him if they looked hard enough.

_You're not stupid, _he thought. _You_ _knew that. If you didn't want to have to deal with someone remembering you, why did you come? _

_I had to. It was just something I had to do. _

_Yeah. Uh-huh. Right. _

_It's the truth, damnit!_

_Part of the truth. Admit it. You knew—_

_Shut up!_

He'd known how great his chances of being recognized were from the moment the idea of coming back entered his mind. He hadn't cared at the time. His need to go home outweighed his anxieties.

_Home._

The word echoed in his head. He hadn't had a home in ten years. At best he'd had various sets of temporary living quarters, and at worst he'd had a spot to curl up in under a bridge. Before he found Rose he hadn't given a damn where he was, and after he found her he'd been too focused on getting her back to "herself" he hadn't bothered to think about it. For an all too brief moment he'd thought they were building a home for themselves in California. _But then the War came and shot everything to hell,_ he thought angrily. And now he was back where he'd started from. Back in the one place he'd sworn never to return to. The one place he wished he could stay…

Rose felt his grip on her hand tighten. She glanced up at his face. His eyes were dark, his mouth thin. _He won't tell me if I ask,_ she thought. _He'll pretend there's nothing wrong. _As if on cue he broke into a grin. "Why're you staring at me like that?"

She shrugged. "Just like looking at you, I guess."

They continued on in silence until Jack said, "Do you think…would you want, if we could somehow, would _you_ want to stay?"

Rose stopped in her tracks. "D—do you mean that?" she gasped. "We could stay? We could—"

"I don't know," he said. "I don't know how we'd do it, but…would you be happy?"

She took his hands. "I don't think happy quite describes what I'd be." He laced his fingers through hers. "Me too."

_What the hell are you doing? _

_I'm making my own happy ending. _


	31. Chapter 31

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Jack paused before answering. _No,_ he thought. _I'm really not sure I want to do this. In fact, let's not. Let's do anything else. _"Yeah," he said, mustering a grin. "I want to do this." Rose gave him a long, probing look. "If you're sure," she said slowly. "But we don't-"

"I am," he insisted, linking his arm through hers. She laced her fingers through his. "Let's go then."

Jack's heart beat faster with each step they took. They had stayed awake all night trying to figure out a way to make their wish to stay in Chippewa Falls a reality. It had seemed hopeless until around dawn when Jack had reluctantly suggested they claim the property he owned there.

"Why didn't you say that sooner?" Rose cried. "This solves everything!"

Jack avoided her eyes. "I'm not sure it's the best idea."

"Why not?"

"Well...the whole reason we've been running around and basically hiding these past months is because we don't know whether or not we're being looked for. Wouldn't my showing up outta nowhere and suddenly claiming something I haven't shown interest in for about 10 years make it kind of obvious where we are?"

Rose's face fell. "I hadn't thought of that," she said quietly. "But won't staying _anywhere_ be risky? If they're really hellbent on finding us won't they?" She felt sick the moment the words left her mouth. _But it's true. They could know where we are right now. _She didn't believe they were actually in any danger, but that didn't mean things couldn't change. As much as they both told themselves the government didn't care about them, that it had bigger things to deal with, neither of them could fully escape the fear that they just might be wrong. "I'm not saying they are," she added. She pressed her hands into his. "Last night you said you wanted to stay, you wanted a home here. Well, this is our chance."

Jack sighed. He studied their intertwined hands. He wanted to tell her it wasn't the government he was afraid of, not really. He wanted to tell her he was mostly afraid he couldn't do it. He couldn't go back. He coudn't face the ghosts he'd left behind. But as he lifted his head and met her eyes he knew he couldn't tell her. Even though she would listen. She would hold him. She would dry his tears with kisses and tell him everything was okay. She would make him feel safe and loved. _But she shouldn't have to do that. _"You're right," he said. "I do want a home with you."

Now, three hours later, he was more determined than ever not to let her see how much what they were about to do was affecting him. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as the house came into view. They'd decided to take a look at it before jumping into anything. "After all," Jack had pointed out, "what's the point of claiming something if it turns out we can't use it?"

"Are you okay?" Rose asked gently. He nodded. "I'm fine." He smiled weakly and placed a quick kiss in her cheek. "Don't worry about me."

_How can I not when I know you're lying?_ she thought. What she didn't know was why. Why wouldn't he just tell her how he really felt? _He thinks he can't,_ she realized. Her heart sank. _I've made him think that. _

Jack broke into a cold sweat as they walked up to the front steps. It was just like he remembered. Only different. The paint was peeling, and in some places it was completely gone. One of the windows was broken. The front door was wide open and sagging on its hinges. Dead leaves from a decade of autumns littered the porch.

Rose touched his face with her free hand. "Are you still okay?"

"I'm...I'm okay," he stammered.

His legs felt like rubber as they walked inside. Rose gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I love you," she whispered. He blinked away the tears that threatened to blind him. "I love you too...I couldn't do this without you."

"You don't have to do this at all if you don't want to," she said. "We can think of something else."

"No. I can do this. I have to do this." He glanced around the front room. It was empty except for a broken chair. A thick layer of dust and dirt covered the wooden floor. There was a hole in one of the floorboards near the stairs. It was the only one he saw, but he could see places where the boards looked rotten. "Rain," he murmured to himself. "Must've gotten in somehow...I could fix it though."

"Could you really?"

"Yeah. I could fix all of it," he said thoughtfully. His fear began to melt away as an image of what the room would look like once he was done with it flashed before his eyes. _I was happy here. I could be happy here again. _

Rose smiled and laid her head against his arm. "I like the sound of that." Jack wrapped an arm around her waist. "Me too."


	32. Chapter 32

"I—I don't know what to say." Terrence Smith stared across his cluttered desk at Jack and Rose. They sat as close together as their separate chairs would allow. Their clasped hands rested on Jack's knee. "I don't think anyone ever expected to see you again."

Jack grinned. "Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. To be honest, there was a time when I didn't intend to ever come back, but—" He shrugged. "—here I am."

"And with a beautiful wife no less," Terence said, a trace of awe in his voice. Rose blushed. "I'd hardly consider myself beautiful." Jack just shook his head. _So would I,_ he thought. _That word doesn't even come close to describing you. _"So," he said, turning his attention back to Terence, "what do I need to do?"

"Not much actually. No-one's disputing your claim, and lucky for you inheritances don't expire. However, we do have to establish your identity. Prove that you really are who you say you are. It's a technicality, unnecessary really, but…" Terence held his hands up and smiled ruefully. "They say we have to do it."

"How do I do that?" Jack asked, a small knot forming in his belly. What if he didn't have whatever it was they needed? _How the hell do people prove who they are anyway? Besides just saying it? A birth certificate? Did I even have one?_

"A marriage certificate would do it," Terence said. "I assume you have one."

"Yes, we do!" Rose said excitedly. She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Terence regarded her with a mixture of interest and amusement. "You carry it around?" Without missing a beat Rose replied, "Doesn't everyone?"

When they left ten minutes later they both had a document in their pocket: Rose had their marriage certificate and Jack had the deeds to the house and the 160 acres of land that surrounded it.

"I can't believe that just happened," Jack said as they started up the street. "Believe it," Rose said. She took his hand and laced their fingers together. "We have a home, Jack." A grin spread across his face. "Finally."

….

"How long will it be before we can stay here?" Rose asked. Her eyes wandered around the room, taking in the dust and decay. The years had been much kinder to Jack than they had been to his childhood home. "I'm not sure," Jack said. "I guess it depends on how much needs to be done and how fast I can do it."

"Can I help?"

He smiled at the enthusiasm in her voice. "Maybe." She raised an eyebrow. "Maybe?" she said, taking a step toward him. "Just…_maybe_?" She laid a hand on his chest and fingered the buttons on his shirt. His breathing quickened slightly. "Why do I get the feeling there's a hidden meaning here somewhere?" he asked. "I don't know why you'd feel that way," she said, sliding her hand up to his neck. "Oh I dunno either," he said as she pulled him in for a kiss. When their lips parted a moment later he added, "If I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to seduce me into letting you do odd repair work."

Rose laughed and pressed her body against his. "Well, you got part of it right." Jack gently pushed her back. "Rose—"

Confusion filled her eyes. "Don't you want—"

"I do!" He took her face in his hands. "So much," he whispered. He gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "But not _here_. Not on this half-rotted filthy floor. That's now how I want to make love to you." She smiled ruefully. "I got a little carried away, didn't I?"

"I don't mind," he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "In fact…"

Rose giggled as Jack laid her down on the bed. "I think the people downstairs are still trying to figure out why you carried me in from the street."

"Gives 'em something to think about for awhile," he said as she pulled him down next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. She brushed back the hair that had fallen into his eyes. "I love you," she said. He smiled and kissed her hand. "I love you too."

The next day Jack started working on making the house inhabitable again. He started by finding all the places where the floorboards had rotted through and replacing the wood. It wasn't perfect, and before long the floor began to resemble a giant patchwork quilt more than a floor. "But it'll do," he said. "For now."

Once that was done he tackled the holes in the roof. Rose watched anxiously from the ground. "Jack?" she called.

"Yeah?"

"Just making sure. I—I couldn't see you." She felt stupid the instant the words left her mouth. _You didn't hear him falling off the other side did you? No? So what are you afraid of then?_

"I'm okay, honey. Don't worry," he called reassuringly. "This won't take long." Soon the air was filled with the sound of hammering and occasionally muttered swearing. "Having trouble?" Rose asked.

"Just a little."

"I thought you were good at things like this," she teased.

"It's been a few years you know. I've drawn more landscapes in the last decade than I've patched roofs."

Rose laughed. "You've drawn landscapes?"

"Yes, I have," he said as he scrambled toward the ladder. She grabbed the sides and held it still while he climbed down. "Funny, I've never seen them," she said.

"That's because I'd rather show you the _good_ drawings."

She shook her head sadly. "Jack, you don't have any good drawings." He stared at her. "You—"

She laughed and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "You only have amazing drawings." He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Is that so?" She kissed him. "Uh-huh."

"Rose," he said out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yes?"

"Would you care to accompany me into our house?"

"I thought you'd never ask."


	33. Chapter 33

"Isn't there _something_ you'll let me help with?" Rose crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. Jack was down on his hands and knees oiling the hinges on one of the bedroom doors. "Please?" she said, stretching the word out to twice its usual length. "It's not as easy as I make it look you know," he said.

"Who said you make it look easy?"

Jack climbed to his feet. "Thanks," he said, shoving the oily rag in his back pocket. "It's good to know how you really feel." He hunched his shoulders and started to move past her, but she stopped him. "You know I was just joking," she said, laying a hand on his chest. He kept his head down. "You make everything look easy," she continued. "I don't know how you do it sometimes." She lifted his head. "Jack…Are you smiling?" Her voice rose in disbelief. "How long were you going to let me—" His lips crashed into hers. He tried to move closer, but she held him back. "Oh no," she said. "You can't just kiss me and pretend nothing happened."

He pulled away. "Did I really—" She grabbed him by the collar and pulled his head down so their foreheads were touching. "No," she said, a grin spreading across her face. "I just wanted you to know how to feels."

"I'm sorry." He slid his arms around her waist. "I'll never do it again." He kissed the tip of her nose. "And I'll let you help if you really want to."

"I do really want to. I don't know why you won't let me. There has to be something I can do without injuring myself, if that's what you're worried about."

"Well, there's that, but I kinda like the idea of doing it all myself, of rebuilding this house for you."

"But wouldn't it be better if we rebuilt it together? We're rebuilding—we have rebuilt—our lives together, shouldn't we do the same with our home?"

"I didn't actually think of it that way," he admitted sheepishly. "Well," she said haughtily, "isn't it a good thing you have me around to make you think of things the right way." He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes. Now, find my something to do," she said briskly. "I've been standing around for two days watching you, and I'll go crazy if I have to do it for a third day."

…

They eventually settled on an agreement. Jack would take care of all the "heavy" work—basically, everything that involved climbing a ladder or wielding a hammer—and Rose would try to find the house beneath the dirt. She grinned and kissed the tip of his nose, much to his amusement. "Was that so difficult?" she said. He just shook his head, a grin of his own threatening to escape. "I'll be outside if you need me, honey."

A triumphant Rose marched into the kitchen. "It can't be that hard," she told herself, dipping a rag into the bucket of water Jack had brought inside for her. "I might even finish before he does." But an hour later, her shoulders and arms aching and with over half the room still covered in grime, she began to suspect it would be a very long time before she even came close to being finished. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against her hand. When she opened them again the room seemed to have doubled in size. Her head swam. She broke into a cold sweat and her hands began to tremble. She lurched forward, pressing her hands against the floor in an attempt to keep herself from falling flat on her face. "This can't be right..."

…

"Rose?" Jack's voice echoed in the empty house. "Rose?" he called again, stopping in front of the stairs. "Rose honey, are you up there?" No answer. A small knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Why wasn't she answering? Where could she have gone? Did she just not hear him? _Or is she-_He pushed the thought away before it could even finish forming. He turned and moved toward the kitchen door. "Rose?" He slowly pushed it open. "Rose, are you—" His heart skipped a beat. "Rose!" he screamed, breaking into a run. He crossed the room in two steps and dropped to his knees next to her limp body. He slipped an arm under her shoulders and pulled her onto his lap. "Wale up, honey," he said, gently shaking her. Her head rolled to the side. "Rose, please, I need you to wake up." He shook her again. "Rose!"

Her eyes fluttered open. "Jack?" she whispered hoarsely. He crushed her to him. "I'm here." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'm right here."

"W—what happened?"

"I was about to ask you that actually."

Rose's brow furrowed. "I was cleaning and then….and then I was waking up in your arms." He cradled her face in his hands. "Are you sure that's all that happened? You don't know how you ended up like this?" Her skin felt cold and clammy to the touch. The knot in his stomach grew. _Something's wrong with her. _

"Well, I was just about to give up on ever getting this room cleaned, and…that's when I got dizzy…"

"You got dizzy?" He eyed her with concern. "What else happened?"

"Not much else really. I got dizzy, and I leaned forward. I must not have come back up again." She moved to climb to her feet. "I'm sure it's nothing." In one quick motion he swept her into his arms and stood up. "Jack, what are you doing?" she asked, giving him a confused look. "I'm fine. I—"

"Well, we're just gonna make sure."


	34. Chapter 34

Jack was bent over Rose, her hand clasped in both of his. She lay on a small couch in the living room of the town doctor. Jack hadn't known where to take her—after all, he'd been gone for ten years—but just as he was about to panic someone noticed him hurrying through the streets with Rose cradled in his arms. Luck, it turned out, was on their side that afternoon because it just happened to be one Dr. Harry Stevenson. He wasted no time before ushering them into his house, which also served as his office. The front was the exam room and his literal office, or at least it would be eventually. As he explained to Jack as he showed him to the living quarters in the back, he had just arrived in town that week and hadn't quit gotten everything in order yet. Jack, however, hadn't heard anything besides the words "I'm a doctor" and "You can lay her down there."

"Jack, I'm fine," she insisted softly. He shook his head. "We don't know that." She sighed. "You worry about me too much."

"Rose, I found you passed out for what looks like no reason. I know you feel fine now—or at least you say you do—but that's a reason to worry." He kissed her forehead. "I know you're strong, but there might be something to this. And if there is, we need to know so it doesn't get worse. Besides," he added, trying to grin, "I already carried you through town a second time. Might as well finish what we started."

She laughed quietly. "People here are going to think we're crazy."

"Well, if they remember me at all they know what to expect."

"Oh? Did you make a habit of carrying women through the streets when you were younger? Funny, I think I can see you doing that. You're quite—" He cut her off with a soft kiss. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Rose's face grew serious. "What if there really is something wrong with me?" she said quietly. "What if—"

"We'll handle it. And weren't you just saying there's nothing to worry about?"

She nodded and lowered her eyes. "I'm not worried. I just don't want to be taken by surprise. He's been in there staring at a vial of my blood for awhile now."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. It takes awhile to figure this stuff out." _Do you really believe that?_

Just then the door opened and Dr. Stevenson came in. "Well, based on what you told me and what I can determine from your blood sample, I feel confident that I know what's wrong." Rose leaned closer to Jack. He squeezed her hand. "Is it bad?" she asked.

"What? Oh, no. Well, it isn't _good_, but it's by no means the worst thing that can happen." He looked slightly embarrassed. "That didn't come out right. Forgive me. I'm still new at this."

"It's all right," she said. "So what is it then?"

"Anemia."

Jack and Rose exchanged puzzled looks. "What's that?" she said. "But she hasn't lost any blood," he said. They looked at each other again and laughed this time. There was nothing to laugh about and yet they couldn't help themselves.

"You're right," Dr. Stevenson said. "She hasn't lost any blood. However, we've been discovering there are different types. I believe what your wife has is related to an iron-deficiency."

"Iron deficiency? Why would I have that?" Rose asked.

"There are a lot of reasons. For instance, not eating enough iron."

"But I eat fine," she protested. "Exactly the way a person is supposed to."

"We don't know everything about this yet, but there is some evidence to suggest that not having an adequate diet over a prolonged period of time can cause damage to your bone marrow and cause you to have trouble making red blood cells. Which causes this. So, if there was ever a time in your life when you didn't eat the way you should have it could be to blame."

….

Rose stared at the bottle of pills on the table in front of her. She had been instructed to take one each day and had been severely warned about skipping days. If she did, the dizziness and fainting spell she had experienced would become regular occurrences. She had also been warned not to exert herself very much, and after hearing that Jack had wasted no time before carrying her off to bed.

She glanced over at him. He was sleeping peacefully, his arms wrapped around the pillow she had left in her place. A lock of hair fell across his eyes. Every few minutes he would murmur something, but she couldn't make out who or what he was talking about. She sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "What are you dreaming about?" she whispered, brushing the hair from his eyes. He smiled and murmured her name. "Is that right?" she said, lying down next to him. She laid an arm across his shoulder. "You don't need to do that. I'm right here." 

"And you're gonna stay that way," he said softly.

"Are you awake?" He threw his arm around her and pulled her closer. "Is that a yes?" she asked. He didn't answer. She kissed his forehead and closed her eyes. "You're way of telling me to go back to sleep, is it?"

She had just begun to doze off when his voice woke her up again. "I'll protect you this time," he said. "From what? Jack—" She touched his face. "You're dreaming again, darling." He leaned into her hand. "I won't let this happen to you."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "You didn't," she whispered. She pressed her cheek to his. "You didn't."

….

"You really won't let me do anything?" Rose asked. "Anything at all?"

"That's right."

"But—"

"But you aren't supposed to be using up the strength you do have."

"But I feel fine!"

He gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "Yeah, I know you do, but look what happened last time." She sighed. "But—"

"But I can't lose you again." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Rose, I can't. I _won't._" She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could another voice rang out. A male voice.


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: Thanks for reviewing! **

Rose's eyes widened; she moved closer to him. "Jack-" He held a finger over his mouth. He gestured for her to move behind him. She was too frightened to even think of asking questions. As she stepped behind him the voice rang out again. It was closer this time. "There isn't anyone here. Can we go?" Whoever it was sounded irritated. _Oh God,_ she thought, grabbing Jack's shirt. _They've finally found us!_

He reached back and found one of her hands. He gave it a quick squeeze. "It's all right," he whispered. He couldn't see her, but she nodded anyway. He was about to take a step forward when the sound of a second voice made him freeze.

"Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not here."

_I know that voice,_ he thought. _But from where? _And then it hit him. "No!" The word was out of his mouth before he knew could even think about stopping himself. He clapped a hand over his mouth. _Idiot! _

"Did you hear something?" the first voice asked.

"Yeah," the second one answered. "Told you someone was here."

Rose sucked in her breath as the sound of approaching footsteps filled her ears. _They_'_re at the bottom of the stairs. _Her heart pounded in her chest. Suddenly she regretted their decision to put off getting a lock for the door; it had seemed like a waste of money given all the other things they needed to buy just to get the house in order. She breathed a silent prayer of thanks that they were on the second floor. Jack grabbed her by the hand and hurried them into the closest room. He gently shut the door behind them and leaned his head against it, hoping to hear it if they spoke again.

Rose clutched his arms from behind. There was a look on his face she hadn't seen since the night the _Titanic_ sank. "Jack, do you know who that is?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly. He paused before answering. Turning to face her, he said, "Yeah. I know who one of them is." His eyes were dark. "I should've known he would show up."

"Who?"

He took her hands. "I'll explain everything, but after they're gone, okay?" She nodded. "You don't have to be afraid," he added. He kissed her knuckles. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's never me I'm worried about," she said softly. He pulled her into a tight embrace. "Well, don't worry about me either then. I gotta stay around for you, don't I?" She nodded, pressing her face against his chest. She breathed deeply, savoring the scent of him. She wrapped her arms around him. "It's impossible to be this close to you and be afraid," she whispred.

They held each other and waited to see what would happen next. After a few minutes of silence Rose said, "I don't think they're coming up here." Jack released her. "I think you're right," he said, moving toward the window. He used his sleeve to clean a space big enough to look through. "Yeah, they're leaving." Now that he could see them he discovered he recognized them both. He closed his eyes as the memory of the last time he saw them washed over him.

"_You should leave," Nick said. Jack peered up at him through bloodshot eyes. "You think?" It hadn't even occurred to him to leave. Where would he go? What would he do? He was only 15. "Yeah," Nick said, clapping him on the back."You're old enough." _

"_But-"_

"_I'm your cousin, aren't I?" _

"_Yeah."_

"_And I'm older than you, aren't I?"_

"_Ten whole years older."_

"_Exactly! I wouldn't steer you wrong. This is the best thing you can do." Nick turned to his friend Marcus. "Isn't it?"_

"_I think so," Marcus said, his even tone a pleasant contrast to Nick's enthusiastic one. Jack stared at his hands. "There isn't anything for you here after all," Nick said. "I'm leaving tomorrow." Jack's head snapped up. "You are? Couldn't I just leave with you then?" Nick shook his head. "'Fraid not. You can't go where I'm going."_

"_Yeah, okay," Jack said, lowering his head again. _

"Son of a bitch lied to me," Jack hissed. His hands clenched into fists at his sides as all the anger he had been holding back rushed through him. His shoulders tensed. "There was something here for me. He just wanted it for himself."

"Jack?" Rose said hesitantly. She lightly touched his shoulder. He spun around so fast she jumped back in surprise. "I'm sorry," she stammered, frightened by the look in his eyes. "I wasn't trying to-" He gently took her in his arms. "You don't have anything to be sorry about," he said. He blinked and just like that his eyes were normal again. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright," she said, smiling weakly. "It's not," he insisted. "I swore I'd never let you be afraid ever again." She pulled him down so his forehead was touching hers. "You can't make something like that happen," she said. "No matter how hard you try you can't protect me from a feeling."

"That won't stop me from trying," he said as he began to gently stroke her face.

Rose pushed away the guilt that threatened to overwhelm her. "Who were they?"she asked, hoping he wouldn't resist the change in subject. "One of them was my cousin," he said. She stared at him, shock and confusion blending in her eyes. "I thought you didn't-"

"I don't. I said I didn't have any close kin here, and I don't. He and me..." He shook his head. "Nick's not the kinda guy you go around talking about. At least, _I _wouldn't. The other one was his best friend."

"What did he lie to you about?"

Jack sighed. "Everything. He's the whole reason I left. I probably never would've if he hadn't pushed me into it."

"Why would he do something like that?" she cried. "That's horrible!"

He laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, well...I'm sorry I reacted like that. I just wasn't expecting them to show up like that. The last time I saw them..." He shook his head. "It wasn't good." She nodded. "I understand." He seemed to have forgotten what he had said earlier about knowing Nick would come, and although she hadn't, she didn't think it was the time to remind him. She desperately wanted to know more, but she sensed he was reluctant to tell her more. _He doesn't push you so don't you dare try and push him! _She kissed him softly. "I'm here if you need me. You don't have to tell me anything, but you can."

He answered by puller her closer and kissing her deeply. He wanted to tell her the rest, but he wasn't sure he could. He wanted to tell her about what had happened the summer after he left, but when he opened his mouth to speak all he could say was, "I love you."


	36. Chapter 36

Over the course of the next three days Jack worked tirelessly to get the house ready to live in. Rose never once asked if she could help. She knew what he would say, and after his reaction to almost encountering his cousin the last thing she wanted to do was upset him. They didn't talk about Nick again after that day, and though she sensed there was something he hadn't told her she didn't press the issue. She almost sighed with relief when he finally walked out onto the porch where she was sitting, a hot cup of tea in her hands, and announced he was finished.

She leapt to her feet, almost spilling the steaming liquid all over the front of her dress. "Careful!" he said, holding his hands out to grab the cup. "Don't burn yourself!"

"Oh, I'm fine," she said, setting the cup down on the porch railing. "You might not have been," he said. "That could've really hurt you. And then I woulda had to carry you through the streets again, screaming. But if you want I could always do that anyway," he added, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I wouldn't?" He moved toward her. She stepped back. A giggle escaped her throat. "Jack, no!" But she didn't stop him from slipping an arm around her waist. "I believe you dared me to do something." He swung her up and into his arms. She threw her head back and laughed. "Jack, no! I meant it! No!"

"But I like to carry you," he said giving her a gentle squeeze.

"Well…carry me somewhere else."

"And your preferred destination is?" he asked haughtily. A shiver went down her back. "Inside," she said softly. He gave her a puzzled look. "What?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down. Their faces were just inches apart. "Take me inside Jack." He brushed his lips across hers. "It's empty. It's clean now, but it's still empty." She twisted one of her hands in his hair, relishing the feel of his silky locks against her skin. "I don't care." He was about to kiss her when a loud voice called out, "Jack!"

He pulled his head back. Rose felt his body tense as a pair of men came into view. "Jack!" the man in the lead called again. He was the taller of the two; he had dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes. His jaw was square, his nose crooked, as if it had been broken a few times. She didn't know why, but there was something about him she didn't like. There was something in his eyes or rather something missing from his eyes that made her want to get as far away from him as she could. She settled for pressing herself closer to Jack, who though he set her on her feet, didn't release his hold on her.

"Nick." He spoke through clenched teeth. _So that's what he looks like,_ Rose thought. Somehow she wasn't surprised. Her gaze shifted to the second man; he avoided her eyes. His dark hair was combed back in a style reminiscent of Cal's. Her mouth curled slightly. She didn't like this one, Marcus, she presumed, any more than she liked Nick.

"So you do recognize me," Nick said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course I do," Jack replied. "I grew up with you, didn't I?" Nick moved onto the porch steps. "Yeah, I guess you did," he said. Marcus hung back, as if waiting for a signal to follow. Jack eyed him with disgust. _Still don't have a will of your own, do you?_ he thought.

"But you left," Nick continued. "Who knows what you might've forgotten since then?"

Rose felt the tension in Jack's body change, as if he were about to spring forward. She laid a hand on his shoulder. _Don't,_ she told him silently. _Jack, please, don't. _He was the same height as Nick and taller than Marcus. But both Nick and Marcus appeared to outweigh him. They had a boxer's build, and although she knew Jack's boyish skinniness had been replaced with firm muscle over the years, she knew he would most likely be no match for both of them. He quickly glanced down at her and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "What do you want?" he asked, his eyes hardening as he turned back to Nick.

"I just wanted to talk to you," Nick said, holding his hands up defensively. "How long's it been since we saw each other? Ten years?"

"Nine." Jack's voice was flinty. "It's been nine years. We saw each other the summer after I left, remember? Kansas? July 1908?" Nick hooked his thumbs through his suspenders and leaned on the porch railing. "You aren't still mad about that, are you? Bit childish to be holdin a grudge this long, don'tcha think?" Jack shook his head solemnly. "No. I don't think so at all."

"So that's how this is gonna be? You're just gonna pretend like we aren't family?"

"We aren't. Not anymore. I don't even know if we ever were." And with that Jack took Rose's hand, turned on his heel, and disappeared into the house. A moment later Nick and Marcus heard a lock click loudly into place.

"Well, that went well," Marcus said. Nick spun around, his eyes blazing. "I don't know what you were watching, but that was not a situation that went well!" Marcus shrugged. "He could've decked you." Nick shook his head and moved off the porch steps. "Not in front of _her_," he said, jerking his head toward the house. "Whoever she was. He's too good for that."

"His wife?"

"A woman like that? Married to my beanpole of a cousin? Not likely," Nick scoffed. "I don't know," Marcus said. "He didn't look like such a beanpole anymore." Nick threw a glance over his shoulder as they started to leave. If he hadn't known otherwise he would have sworn the house was empty. "He didn't, did he?" he murmured. "Huh. So he filled out, found a woman—took him long enough, too. I wonder if there's anything else my dear last living relative has been up to these past nine years?"

….

"Jack?" Rose said gently. His back was to her; he had been staring out the kitchen window since they had come inside. "I'm fine," he said without turning around. "Don't worry."

_How can I not?_ she thought. _How can I watch you like this and not worry? Especially when you won't talk to me about it? _Her mouth formed a silent "O" of understanding. So this is how he must have felt after finding her, when she wouldn't tell him what had happened or what she was feeling. She slowly wrapped her arms around him from behind. "You don't have to talk about it," she said, pressing her mouth to the back of his neck. "But you can. You can tell me anything. I love you. We can deal with whatever it is together."

Jack smiled sadly, glad she couldn't see his face, and covered her hands with his. "I know," he said, careful to keep his voice steady. "But it's over now. All that matters is moving on, finally creating our life together."


	37. Chapter 37

They moved in the next day, though Rose didn't think the phrase "moved in" quite described what they did. She preferred to think they had walked in just like they'd been doing, only this time they brought all two of their bags with them.

She set her bag down next to the door, not caring that it was still open, and slowly wandered across the front room. The stairs were in a small hallway between the front room and kitchen; there was a third, smaller room, just off the kitchen. Jack had never said what it was for, but she guessed it was a storage room. What else could a room that size be for?

"Rose?" Jack closed the door and locked it. "I'm in here," she called. He followed her voice into the kitchen. "Whatcha doin?" She was leaning against the sink, chin in hand. Her hair fell around her face; her pale yellow cotton dress set off her fiery curls. "I'm just looking outside," she said dreamily. "Oh yeah?" He slipped his arms around her waist. "See anything interesting?" She nodded. "See that?" she said, pointing.

"I see it."

"That's ours."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "It's all ours." She let herself sink against him. "And nothing and no-one can ever take it away from us," she said happily.

"If they want to, they'll have to go through me." He tried to make it sound like a joke, but Rose heard the threat beneath his light tone. _He's thinking about Nick again,_ she thought with a sinking heart. They hadn't talked about the encounter with Nick and Marcus, and even though she was desperate to know what had happened between the three of them she didn't ask. It had been awful whatever it was; that much was clear from his reaction to them. She tilted her head up and looked into his face. His blue eyes sparkled; a grin played about his lips. He hadn't looked this happy since before Nick and Marcus had shown up. _No,_ she thought with a pang of guilt, _since before we found out about my illness._

"Did you take your medicine?" he asked, pressing his forehead to hers.

_Can you read my mind?_ "Yes," she said. "I took it after breakfast." Except she hadn't. She had meant to, but it had slipped her mind in all the excitement. _What was your excuse two days ago when you didn't take it? _

_I just forgot,_ she told herself. _It's still new to me. I'll take it later. _She smiled and pulled him closer, loving the way his body felt against hers. "You know what I think we need?" she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. He slid his hands down her back. "I've got a guess." She laughed. "No," she said. "Not that." He sighed dramatically. "You don't want me anymore—" He was silenced by her lips crashing into his. "What was that?" she asked when the kiss finally ended. "I don't know what that was," he said with a grin. "But I liked it."

Her expression grew serious. "We don't have anything," she said. "Anything we need to live," she added quickly. "Let me worry about that," he said. "Jack—" He kissed her lightly. "Go upstairs."

Rose paused at the top of the stairs. _What could he possibly be sending me up here to see? _Excitement ignited in her belly; with Jack, it could be anything. There were three rooms on the second floor, but only one open door. It led into the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Her hands flew to her mouth; a gasp of surprise and joy escaped her throat. "How…." She stared at what had once been empty room but was now a beautifully—if simply—decorated bedroom. Jack peered over her shoulder. "Do you like it?' he asked hesitantly. "I—I love it," she stammered. "But how did you manage it? _When_ did you…?"

He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Artist's secret."

…

"Rose?"

She rolled over. "Jack?" It was dark but she could still see his frown. "What's wrong?" He opened his mouth and then closed it again without saying anything. "Talk to me," she said. She laid her head on his chest and threw an arm across his stomach. His bare skin was smooth and cool. She lightly ran her fingers in circles around his navel. His mouth curled into a half smile. "Keep that up and the last thing I'll wanna do is talk."

She flattened her hand against his stomach. "I stopped. Now talk." He groaned. "I should've kept my mouth shut." She propped herself up on her elbow. "Jack, please," she said softly, "talk to me." He reached up and cupped her cheek. "Are you happy?" She stared at him; confusion filled her eyes. "What? I—of course I'm happy. Why would you think—"

"I didn't think you weren't," he said. "I just needed to hear you say it." He took a deep breath. "Rose, you won't leave me, will you? You wouldn't, I mean." She shook her head. "No," she said solemnly. "Never. Jack, why are you asking me this?"

"Not even if you found out something about me? Something that might make you see me differently?"

Rose's heart raced. What was he talking about? What could he possibly mean? _Leave him? Has he lost his mind? _"I could never leave you," she said. She traced the outline of his lips and then his jaw. "Jack, I love you. I—I don't ever want to be away from you again. Those years we were apart….I don't even want to think about feeling that alone again." He studied her face. His mouth twitched as though he were about to say something; instead, he took hold of her hips and in one fluid movement their positions were reversed. She stared up at him. His face was just inches from hers. His palms were flat on the bed on either side of her head. "I love you," he said in a voice that made her want to cry. "I know you do," she said. He kissed her gently. She parted her lips and arched her neck. He pulled away. His eyes burned, but with what she didn't know.

_You could tell her,_ he thought. _You could tell her everything. _She would listen; he knew she would. _And she'd still love me_. But when he opened his mouth nothing came out. It was as if he'd lost the ability to speak. "Rose," was all he managed to choke out. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears threatened to blind him.

"Sshh," she said softly. She wrapped her arms around him. "Jack, it's alright." She laid his head against her chest. He sank gratefully against her. "Oh, Rose." She shushed him again. "You don't have to say anything," she said. "I'm here." He slid his arms underneath her. "Rose," he whispered again, hugging her tightly. He buried his face in her nightgown. Every breath he took was filled with the scent of her. "I'm sorry." He wanted to say more—so much more—but he just couldn't.


	38. Chapter 38

_One Month Later_

"I'm goin out to chop some more wood before it gets dark," Jack said, placing a quick kiss on Rose's head. "Are you sure it isn't too cold?" she asked. She picked up a dish from the sink and began drying it. "It's fine." He shrugged into his jacket. "Believe me, I've felt worse," he said with a grin. Rose just shook her head as the door swung shut behind him. Despite his fears about going back home he had settled into their new life with ease. _Well,_ she thought as she finished drying the last dish, _except for those first few days. _She quickly pushed the thought away. There hadn't been another incident like the one during their first night in the house, and as far as she could tell Jack was happy. He seemed to have almost adjusted to living in Chippewa Falls again with ease; he had even gotten a job at the local post office two days after they moved in. It wasn't the most exciting job he had ever had, but it was reliable, the hours weren't long, and the pay was better than he could have hoped. There also hadn't been any sign of Nick or Marcus.

Rose smiled to herself as she stacked the dishes in the cabinet next to the sink. Jack had gotten up around dawn on their first morning in the house and had bought them. When she woke up it was to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying.

"Did you do this all for me?" she had asked incredulously. "You say that as though you're surprised," he said. "I…I guess I shouldn't be," she said, a quick laugh escaping. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his middle. "Careful," he cautioned. "The grease'll pop and burn you." He turned his body so his profile was facing the stove and Rose was almost behind him. "That's better," he said. Rose smiled and kissed his jaw. "What was that for?" he asked, a smile of his own forming. "As if you don't know," she said.

Rose's body filled with warmth at the memory. They had eaten breakfast after that—bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee. "Where did you get all of this?" she had asked as he handed her a plate. "In town," he answered. "While you were still asleep. You don't mind, do you?" She shook her head. "I don't mind. It's just…you didn't have to do all of this, especially not by yourself."

"I did have to. We needed food and something to eat it off of, and as far as doing it alone, well, I wanted to do it for you. Not because I think you couldn't've done it," he added quickly. "And you don't want me exerting myself too much," she said. "Yeah, there is that," he said.

A knot formed in Rose's stomach as his words echoed in her head. At the time she had hoped he would eventually forget about her condition, but so far that didn't seem likely. He asked how she was feeling everyday and whether she had taken her medication. Sometimes she had and sometimes she hadn't, but she always responded with "Yes."

_That feeling in your stomach is guilt. You've been lying to him. _

"I can't tell him I forget to take it sometimes," she insisted. "Or that some days I feel fine and don't need it." She knew it didn't matter how she felt; she was still supposed to take it everyday or she would get worse.

_Do you want that?_

"No," she said softly. The next thing she knew she was grabbing the bottle of pills the doctor had given her out of the cabinet in the bathroom. She swallowed two. "There. That should make up for the one I didn't take yesterday."

….

Jack swung the axe again. He loved the way the movement pulled the muscles in his arm and shoulders tight; a part of him almost hoped he would actually develop them enough to actually be able to call them muscles. He had always been tall and slim—skinny even, when he was in his teens—and though he had filled out slightly his physique was nothing like that of most men he saw, especially not the ones he had been seeing around town. He shook his head and chuckled to himself. "Aren't you a little old to be caring about stuff like that?" Rose didn't seem to mind, and wasn't that the most important thing?

He set the axe down and pushed his hair out of his face. He had started to break into a sweat despite the chill late fall air. "Gonna wind up sick," he muttered. He started stacking the wood he had cut. "But this needs to be done. How else'll we keep warm when it _really_ gets cold?"

_Crack_

His head snapped up. It sounded like a stick breaking under someone's foot. His body tensed. He peered into the trees, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever—or whomever—was out there.

Nick raised his hand as though he were going to smack Marcus on the back of the head. "That'll just make more noise," Marcus whispered, irritated by his friend's willingness to hit him. Nick grunted and lowered his hand. "Do ya think he can see us?" he said. Marcus shook his head. "If he could see us he'd be over here by now."

Jack let out his breath. "There's nothing out there." He grabbed the last few pieces of wood and laid them on the pile. "You just let them scare you. _Again_."

"Jack?" Rose called.

Nick and Marcus watched Rose walk around the house and over to Jack. They couldn't hear their conversation, but that didn't matter. They had never really cared about anything Jack had to care, and their interest in Rose had nothing to do with words. "How in the hell did he get a woman like that?" Nick said. Marcus shrugged. "Dunno…." Their eyes widened as they watched Rose throw her arms around Jack's neck and kiss him passionately.

"He doesn't deserve a woman like that," Nick said disgustedly. "Look at him. He doesn't even know what to do with a woman like that." He failed to notice that Rose seemed more than pleased with Jack's response.

….

Rose sighed and snuggled closer to Jack. His arms were wrapped tightly around her. "I have to get up," he whispered. "You don't," she said sleepily, pressing her face against his chest. His bare skin was soft against her cheek. "You can stay right here."

"I wish I could," he said, brushing his lips across her shoulder.

Rose didn't even bother to take off her robe when she fell back into bed after kissing Jack good-bye. She grabbed the blankets and pulled them up to her chin. The bed felt too big without Jack next to her. "And it's cold now," she grumbled.

It was still early, but Jack was sure it was going to be a beautiful day. He hooked his thumbs in his pockets and began to whistle quietly. He was too lost in his own happiness to even think of looking for anyone in the woods.

…..

Rose hummed softly as she swept the front porch. She had tried to go back to sleep, but it was impossible without Jack there. She was about to go back into the house when she heard a voice say her name. She froze her hand just inches from the doorknob. _I've heard that voice before, _she thought. _But when?_ And then she remembered. It was Nick's voice.

"Rose?" he said again, walking up onto the first step.

Anger coursed through her. _How dare he come back here!_ She spun around, holding the broom as though it were a weapon. "What do you want?" she asked coldly. It had been years since she had been anywhere near high society, but she still remembered every bit of her training. She drew herself up to her full height. She lifted her chin and looked down her nose at him. Out of the corner of her left eye she could see Marcus; like the previous time he appeared to be hanging back, waiting for an order.

Nick held up his hands. "I just wanted to talk," he said innocently. "Is Jack around?" he asked, though he already knew he wasn't. 

Rose hesitated. If she lied he might only be fooled for a few minutes, and what then? What if it made him angry? She tightened her grip on the broom handle. She swallowed the fear that rose in her throat. _You've gone through too much to be scared of someone like him. He's just a poorer version of Cal. _She shot a quick, disgusted glance at Marcus. _He even has his own valet. _"He isn't here," she said. She moved to turn around.

"Wait," Nick said. "I don't know what he told you about me, but—"

"He didn't tell me very much, but it was all I needed to hear," she said, glaring at him. Nick sighed. "He exaggerates, you know. Always has."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"How well do you know him?" He stepped onto the porch. "Cause I've known him his whole life."

"It's interesting that I didn't hear about you until you decided to show up here." She didn't like that he was moving closer, but she forced herself to remain calm. "We had a bit of a falling out," he said. Rose's heart began to beat faster. He was still a few feet away, but it felt as though he were right on top of her. "A bit of a falling out?" she said contemptuously. "That's what you call it?"

"Why don't you let me tell my side of the story," he suggested. "Maybe it'll change the way you see my saintly cousin."

"It might if your side were true, whatever it is," she spat. "I've wasted enough time talking to you as it is," she said, turning on her heel. She sucked in her breath as she felt his hand close around her arm. Suddenly all her old fears came flooding back. Her mind raced. Her stomach lurched. Before she realized what she was doing she had whipped around, the broom held high. Nick didn't even have time to react before she cracked him across the face.

…..

"Rose?" Jack called as he stepped into the house. It was noon, but as far as he could tell there was no sign of her usual lunchtime activities—not even the smell of food in the air. The door had been closed and locked when he arrived, which, now that he thought about it, was strange. She hadn't locked the door once since they moved in. "I don't need to," she'd said. "I'm not afraid."

He called her name again and began making his way through the house. She wasn't anywhere to be found downstairs. "Rose?" he called, hoping she might finally answer. His heart filled with fear when she didn't. _Where would she go? _

He took the stairs two at a time, his footfalls echoing like gunshots in the silent house. He pushed their bedroom door open. She lay curled up in the middle of the bed, her face buried in his pillow. She wasn't moving. "Rose!" he cried. She lifted her head. "Jack." Her voice shook. Tears glistened in her eyes. "Oh Rose," he said, sitting down next to her. She offered no resistance as he pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around him. "What happened?" he asked. He hugged her tightly and slowly began to rock back and forth. "Just tell me what happened."

…..

Nick stared into his beer; his reflection scowled up at him. "It's not that bad," Marcus said. "You can hardly see it." Nick raised his head. "You're sayin this—" He pointed at the black bruise that covered most of the left side of his face. "_This_ isn't that bad?"

"Well—" Marcus's words were lost as Jack swept past him. Jack grabbed Nick by the shirt collar and yanked him out of his chair. "What the hell!" Nick yelped. The chair flipped over. Marcus jumped to his feet. The rest of the men in the small bar turned to see what was happening.

Jack's eyes blazed; his face was twisted with fury and hatred. "You son of a bitch!" he yelled. He shook Nick roughly. "Do you have any idea what you did?" he demanded. "I might never get her back to where she was!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Nick sounded as though he were being strangled. Jack's knuckles were pressing against his throat. "But if anyone has a right to be pissed it's me. She—"

Jack slammed him into the wall. "She what? You scared all hell out of her, and she hit you?" Contempt crept into his voice. "What kind of man does that?"

Suddenly Nick remembered he was bigger than Jack. "I didn't do anything to scare her," he snarled. He tried to shove him back, but to his amazement Jack was unmovable. "But I should have," he added. "I should've—" Jack's fist slammed into his mouth before he could finish. He barely managed to raise his own fist before Jack hit him again. His knees started to buckle. It all started to become a blur after that; all he really knew was whatever was happening, it hurt.

**AN: I know I said to some of you that the secret would be revealed in this chapter, but as you can see it wasn't. I'm sorry. That's just now how things unfolded when I started writing. Next chapter. I promise. **


	39. Chapter 39

Jack slammed his fist into the bars. "Goddamnit!" he yelled. "God-fucking-damnit!" Breathing heavily, he slumped forward, pressing his forehead against the cold steel. His arms dangled limply through the bars. He closed his eyes. "Rose," he whispered. "Rose, Rose, Rose." Had they told her already? What did they say? Unbidden, an image of her flashed before his eyes. The color drained from her face, her hands trembling, she stood before him, eyes flashing with fear and anger. _How could you do that to me? _they asked.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

He lifted his head as the door at the far end of the room opened with a loud _creak. _A flicker of hope rose in his heart. _Maybe she—_But it wasn't her. In stumbled Nick, his hands cuffed firmly behind his back. One of the local cops held him by the arm. His face was bruised and swollen; his lip was puffy and split in three places. A long gash ran down the right side of his face. The cop caught Jack staring at him and said, "You should see what else he's got." He unlocked the cell opposite Jack's and pushed him in. Nick staggered forward before falling onto the small cot. He groaned and clutched his ribs, as if protecting them from a blow. As he watched him Jack tried to feel bad about what he'd done, to feel remorse for causing another person so much obvious pain, but he couldn't. "You deserved it," he muttered.

The cop, a young guy with dark blonde hair and bright brown eyes, looked from Nick to Jack. "What'd he do to piss you off so much?" Jack grunted and laid his head against the bars. "I didn't do nothin!" Nick yelled weakly. He struggled to pull himself into a sitting position. Wincing as a fresh burst of pain flooded his body, he said, "He's just crazy. Came in and start hitting me."

"You know what you did you son of a bitch," Jack said through clenched teeth. Just then the door opened again; this time the town sheriff came in. He was tall and muscular. His fists looked more like two small hams than anything else. His dark grey eyes missed nothing. There were flecks of white around his temples, but otherwise his hair was a light brown. He stopped in front of Nick's cell. Crossing his arms in front of his chest he sighed heavily. "I thought we had an agreement?"

"Did we?" Nick's tone resembled that of a petulant child. "I can't seem to remember anymore. You see Ted, I've just been violently assaulted."

"It's Sheriff Hughes. You should know that by now."

Nick gave a brief shrug, ignoring the pain it caused. "I already told ya, I can't seem to remember a thing."

"Uh-huh." Ted's tone made clear how little he cared for Nick's story. He turned to face Jack, who, in spite of himself, had watched the exchange with interest. "So what do you have to say—" A flash of recognition crossed his face. "Jack?" He took a step forward. "It is you, isn't it?" Behind him Nick snorted quietly; just what he needed: another person who adored Jack.

"Yeah, it's me," Jack said flatly. Ted's excitement gave way to shocked confusion. "What are you doing back? And _here_?" Nick leaned over so he could see around Ted. "You never do anything bad, do you?" he sneered. "That's enough outta you," Ted said. "If I want your view on things I'll say it for you."

"I'm here because of him," Jack said.

"_You_ did that?" Ted pointed at Nick with his thumb. "To your own family?"

"Yeah, that was me." Shame crept into his voice. He didn't care so much about hurting Nick as about losing control of himself. What did it say about him if he could try so hard to kill another person with his bare hands? _Except it wasn't just a person,_ he reminded himself. _You weren't hitting just anyone. _His hands curled into fists as he remembered the way Rose's body had trembled in his arms. "But he isn't my family," he added darkly.

"See, he admits it! Tried to kill his own cousin!" Nick cried. "So why're you keepin' me here?" Ted was about to scold Nick again, but Jack beat him to it. "Shut up!" he yelled. "Just shut the hell up for once!" He sighed heavily. "What did you tell me wife?"

"Your wife? Nothing," Ted said. "Why, what do you think I should tell her?"

"Tell her I love her."

….

Nick glared at Jack. He was slumped on his cot, elbows on his knees. "I can't believe you. All this over a woman?"

Jack raised his head. He hadn't moved since Ted and his deputy had left. "You really are an unimaginable bastard."

Nick sniffed. "Maybe, but I'm the one who got the money."

"I _gave_ you the money," Jack hissed. "Without me you'd never have had a cent."

"I coulda gotten it without you," Nick said defensively. "It was just easier to go through you."

"Whatever. I don't care. I just wish you'd stayed away, you know like we agreed."

"I—" Nick closed his mouth as the door opened. Jack's head snapped up. "Rose!" he cried. She ran forward. She threw herself at the bars, reaching through to wrap her arms around him. "Jack!" He reached through the bars and let his hands find her face. "Why are you here?" he asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "When they told me I—How could I not come?" She twisted her fingers in his hair. "Jack, you didn't have to do that."

"I did," he insisted. "Rose, I did have to. I couldn't let another person get away with hurting you." As he said it he realized he hadn't just been trying to kill Nick; he'd been trying to kill all of them, every man who had ever hurt her. "I love you," she said, pressing her hands against his face. "But killing him would have just taken you away from me again." His eyes filled with tears. "I know," he said. "But it didn't matter then. I wasn't thinking about anything but making him pay." She laughed weakly. "I'd already hit him pretty hard."

"I saw," Jack said with a short laugh. "When did a first class girl like you learn how to hit like that?" She did her best to feign shock. "What? You think a first class girl can't hit?" They smiled at each other, the rest of the world temporarily forgotten.

"Are you two gonna stand there and do that all day?" Nick asked, annoyed. "Because you might as well hit me a few more times if you are. Blacking out's better than listening to Jack crying." Rose spun around. "Don't think I won't finish the job!" Her eyes were almost black with anger. "Don't you even test me!" Nick stared at her. Where was the frightened little waif Jack had been so concerned about?

"Rose honey, don't," Jack said, reaching out and touching her arm. She turned toward him. "It's okay. Just c'mere," he said. She laid her head against the bars with a sigh. He wrapped his arms around her as best he could. "It's okay," he said. He kissed the top of her head. "I promise."

Ted let Jack go home not long after that. It wasn't how things were usually done he admitted, but he knew better than to think Jack posed a threat to the general population. "And given your history with your cousin over there," he added, "It's a bit understandable."

"I didn't realize you knew," Jack said quietly. "I only know a little," Ted said. "But it's enough." Jack just nodded. "And a man has the right to protect his wife," Ted added. "That's all I've ever tried to do," Jack said sadly. "Since the day I met her."

They walked home in silence, their arms firmly around each other. "Let me take care of those," Rose said when they got into the house. "You need something on them." Jack looked down at his hands; not only were they swollen and bruised but they were covered in small cuts. _How did those happen? _ "I guess I do." He sat down at the kitchen table. Rose joined him a moment later, a bottle of antiseptic and a clean cloth in hand. "I'm sorry we don't have any ice," she said. He held out a hand. "It's okay." He sucked in his breath as she laid the antiseptic soaked cloth against his skin. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm not trying to hurt—"

"No, it's okay."

They sat in silence while she cleaned his cuts. When she was finished he took her hands in his. "Thank you," he said, lacing his fingers through hers. She nodded. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I—I shouldn't let that happen. And I should've been honest with you before, when you asked about what happened between me and him."

"Jack, you don't have to—"

"No, I do," he insisted. "You deserve to know." He took a deep breath. Rose's stomach began to knot. "When I was a kid," he began, "I always thought…I thought my family was different from how it really was. We—the way we lived it didn't match what we had."

"What do you mean?"

"My father's family was…they were very wealthy people, but he, well he was a lot like you actually. He didn't want to live by their rules, and so he ran away. Changed his name and came here. Even made up a story about where he was from. I didn't know until after my parents died. This guy came, said he represented my father's business interests…"

"What happened?"

"He ended up talking to Nick instead of me. I didn't know it at the time, but a few days after the funeral Nick started sayin' I should leave. He said it would be best for everyone if I was gone. I didn't have anything here, so I thought, why not?"

"He took the money, didn't he?"

"He tried, but they ended up figuring out he wasn't who he said he was. This guy, Stevens was his name, spent months tryin to find me. Finally he did, and he told me everything. But Nick beat him to it." Jack paused. "You don't have to tell me any more," Rose said. "I gotta get this out," Jack said.

_July 1908_

Jack stared up at Nick. "What the hell are you doing?" Nick didn't answer; he just hit him again. Jack let out a yelp of pain. He rolled onto his side, throwing Nick off. He scrambled to his feet. Nick stood, hunched over, an almost feral look in his eyes. Jack quickly stepped aside as Nick charged at him. He grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pushed him against the wall. "What is going on with you?"

Nick threw off his grip. He spun around, ready to attack again. "You had to exist," he hissed. Jack's head spun. "What?" Nick pointed an accusing finger at him. "If you didn't exist it would be mine! So, I'll make sure you don't!"

_October 1917_

"And after that I gave it to him. If he wanted it so bad…" Jack gave a half hearted shrug. "Why not let him have it?"

Rose couldn't believe her ears. "Jack, I never imagined anything like that—What kind of person could do that? Just for money?"

"I can think of a few," he said dryly.

"Now that you mention it, so can I."

"Rose, this doesn't—you don't feel—"

"What? Differently? Why would I?"

"Because I could've had so much. I could've—" _I could've been the rich guy you were marrying back then. _She laid a hand on his cheek. "It doesn't matter. Who knows if we would have even met if you had been?" she said, as if she had heard his thought. "Everything that's happened to us, it's been for a reason."

"I want it to end already," Jack said. "When's that happy ending the stories always talk about coming?"


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been extremely busy with school lately. This story is about to come to an end, and so I'll get an update up very soon. Review please!**

Sighing happily, Rose snuggled closer to Jack. His face was covered by a quilt; only a few tufts of blonde hair stuck out. He curled his arm around her. "Why'd you move?" he murmured. "I didn't," she said. "You decided you wanted the covers to yourself." Nuzzling her neck, he said, "I changed my mind."

"Oh really?"

"Uh-huh." He slid his hands down her back, pulling up her nightgown as he went. "Jack." His hands kept moving. "Uh-huh." It was over her knees. "Jack." She drew his name out to twice its usual length. "Yes?" He brushed his fingers across her thighs. "Isn't it a bit early?" His lips grazed her throat. "Only if you say it is."

She didn't.

...

Jack rubbed his hands together. "It's cold." He hunched his shoulders and grabbed his shirt off the floor. "You should have stayed in bed," Rose said, pulling the quilt up to her chin. "It's warm here." He tucked the quilt around her. "Then you should stay here." He kissed her forehead. "Stay here all day." She groaned. "You don't have to go. Tell them you can't. Tell them your wife is sick."

"You know I can't do that." He slipped into his coat. "What'll we do if you really get sick?"

"I won't."

"Good." As he started to move away she grabbed his collar. "Don't go," she whispered. "Honey, you know I don't want to." He sighed. Almost a month had passed since the fights with Nick and he hadn't been seen since his release from jail a few days later.  
Despite his fears Rose hadn't retreated into herself again. She was, as far as he could tell, fine. For the most part, anyway. _Except for moments like this, _he reminded himself. He glanced at the clock. If he left now he could still get to work on time without running. Of course, he could just not leave at all..._No. You have to go. No matter how much you hate yourself for it. _

"I know you can't stay." She sounded small. She pulled him in for a soft kiss. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

But he did worry. He stopped twice on his way to work, overwhelmed by the urge to turn around. His stomach was in knots when he finally unlocked the Post Office. He finished the opening chores in record time, spurred on by nervous energy, and before he knew it was leaning against the counter with nothing to do but think about Rose.

_She's fine. Why wouldn't she be fine? What could have happened to her? _He tapped his nails against the counter. The sound echoed in the empty building. _Nick could've come back. He showed up once when he knew you were gone. Why wouldn't he do it again? _He pushed the thought away. No. Nick wouldn't come back. He was long gone. Jack was sure of it. Whatever he'd wanted he hadn't wanted it enough to stay around and fight for it. _I gave him the money. What else could he want? I don't have anything. Except for Rose. _

_"_Jack!" Ted boomed. He let the door slam behind him. "Just the man I've been looking for." Jack grinned. "Well, you found me. What can I do for you, Sheriff?" Ted glanced around the room. "You the only one here?" Jack nodded. "Good. I don't want the whole county to hear about this. As a matter of fact, why don't we just go ahead and agree to keep this conversation between us?"

"If that's what you want," Jack said slowly.

"Listen Jack, I know about what you did." He studied Jack's face, waiting for a reaction. When none came, he continued, "I know about what happened in California with the draft." Jack's body tensed. His heart began to beat faster. _Stay calm,_ he told himself. _You don't know what he came to say. _But that didn't stop him from trying to calculate how long it would take him to make it back to the house if he made it past Ted and out the door.

"I didn't come here to arrest you." Jack stared at him; it was all he could do to keep his jaw from hitting the counter. "Then why did you come?" Ted sighed. "I know I should. Don't think I don't. It's just…well, I can't. I just can't bring myself to do it." He looked Jack square in the eye. "I won't stop anyone else from doing it though."

"I understand. I'd do the same if I—"

"Maybe you would, and maybe you wouldn't. Maybe you'd be smarter than me, less sentimental. All I know is I understand why you did it. Why you ran away. It was for her, wasn't it?"

"I couldn't leave her. Not while she needed me." Jack ran his fingers through his hair, shoving the wayward locks away from his eyes. A dull ache was forming in the back of his head. What was going on? How had Ted found out? If he knew, did that mean other people did too? _Will we have to leave? Start hiding again? _He couldn't bear the thought of telling Rose they hadn't found a home after all.

"I know all about her," Ted said. "I don't fully understand all of it, but I know she was in that hospital." The pain in the back of Jack's head began to spread. His hands clenched into fists. "She shouldn't have been there," he said. "I shouldn'tve let that happen to her."

"Sometimes we don't have as much control over what happens as we'd like. Sometimes we can't protect the ones we love. It doesn't matter how much we want to or how much we try." Jack just nodded. He sensed there was something Ted wasn't saying, but he didn't dare ask what. "How do you know? About us, I mean?"

"A certain mutual acquaintance of ours had my office conduct an investigation. Seems he was very interested in what you'd been doing since the last time the two of you saw each other."

"You don't think he'd—"

"Turn you in?" Ted shook his head. "He's got too many legal issues of his own. The wrong person figures out where he is and it's all over for him."

"So where does that leave us?"

"Us? Exactly where we were before. Just thought you should know." Ted was almost to the door when Jack called, "Did he tell you why he came back?"

"He didn't. But he actually got here before you did. Probably wouldn'tve stuck around as long as he did if he hadn't noticed you were back."

Jack almost ran home that night. His head ached. Questions, none of which he could answer, filled his mind. All he wanted was to crawl into bed, wrap his arms around Rose and hold her until the world made sense again. But when he finally got there the house was empty.


	41. Chapter 41

**AN: Hope you don't hate it!**

Jack's heart began to pound. "Rose?" he called. He hurried through the house, pausing only long enough to glance around each room. "Rose?" There was no sign of her upstairs or down. He peered out the kitchen window. Nothing there either. "Where could she be?" he wondered. "She wouldn't just leave." A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. _What if—_"No!" He slammed his fist down on the counter. "That's not—she wasn't—" He clenched his jaw. "No-one dragged her off. I'd be able to tell. She wouldn'tve just…" He sighed. He dropped his head into his hands. "Rose where the hell are you?"

"Jack?" Rose laid a hand on his shoulder. "Jack, are you—" His head snapped up. He whirled around. "Rose!" He grabbed her by the arms. "You're okay!"

"I—I'm fine," she said slowly. "Jack, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Her voice was muffled by his shirt. His arms were like iron around her. He pressed his cheek against her hair. "I came in and you weren't—I couldn't find—" He closed his eyes. The scent of her was everywhere. "It doesn't matter. You're here."

"Of course I'm here." She raised her head. "Where else would I be?" The smile that had been forming quickly vanished. "You didn't think I left, did you? You didn't think I would—" She cupped his cheek. "Jack, I—"

"I don't know what I thought," he admitted. "Not really. I don't know why, but when I came in and you were gone…it scared me. Rose, when I couldn't find you I—" She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You don't have to worry about that." She brushed the hair from his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. Not ever. Nor for any reason." She placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "All of that's over."

"Is it really?"

She nodded. "It's time for that happy ending you were talking about. Finally time." He watched, confused, as she took one of his hands. "What're you—" She shushed him. She pressed his palm against her belly. "Rose—" The words caught in his throat. _She can't mean…_"Are we—you—" His hand trembled. She nodded slowly, a smile spreading across her face. Tears glistened in her eyes. "When you came in I was on my way back from seeing the doctor. I'd been wondering—it seemed like maybe I was, so after you left…well, I just went."

The next thing she knew she was in the air, held up by Jack's strong hands. He spun around, whooping with joy. "I can't believe it," he said when he finally set her down. "Well, you were there," she said laughing. He crushed her to him. "Yeah, I know, but I still can't believe it." She twisted her fingers in his hair. Pulling him in for a kiss, she whispered, "Believe it."

Their son, Monet Jack Dawson, was born eight and a half months later. His head was covered with flaming red hair that Rose hoped would fade to blonde as he got older but Jack hoped would stay exactly the way it was. His eyes were the same shade of blue as Jack's except for a ring of light green around his pupils. "That means he can see things other people can't," Jack said. Rose smiled. "So he's like you."

A few months later they received a letter informing them Nick was dead. He was killed after picking a fight with someone in a bar. "It's a shame," Jack said. "He didn't have to end up like that." He sighed and refolded the letter. "Maybe there was something I could've—"

"Don't think like that." Rose wrapped her arms around him. "It wasn't up to you to save him, Jack."

"Seems like I've heard something like that before." He put an arm around her. "Not sure where though." She laid her head against his chest. "Seems like I remember someone telling me the only person who could save me was me. It was the same with him."

"Do you remember everything I say?"

"Everything. Even the boring—Jack!" She let out a cry of surprise as he swung her into the air. She came down into his arms. "Jack, what are you—" He cut her off with a kiss. They were both breathless when it finally ended. "What was that for?" she asked.

"For you."

Later that night, just as Rose was starting to drift off, Jack said, "I wonder what happened to all the money."

"He didn't seem like the type to save," Rose murmured.

"You're right. He probably blew through it a week after he got it."

A few days later Jack got the answer to his question. Nick had indeed tried to blow through it in a week, but there was too much for even him to waste. The business and investments were in the hands of lawyers and trustees who made sure money kept being made. When he died Nick was worth over $100,000 million. Jack was his only living relative.

"So, was this the happy ending you had in mind?" Rose asked. A cool wind blew her hair back. "Not quite," Jack said. "Give me your hand." She gave him a puzzled look. "What—" Her eyes darted past him. A smile spread across her face. "Do you think we can fly all the way to the stars this time?" she asked, holding out her hand. "I dunno," he said, a grin of his own forming. "But we'll try."

_The End. _


End file.
